My Name Is IRL

Welcome to the aptly named Mid Ohio Sports Car Course, where the heroes of the Indy Car series will race in the middle Ohio on a Sports Car Course. Hence the name.

The big story today is that shuffling of drivers this weekend. After the passing of his father, Mario Moraes has taken leave to be with his family this weekend, handing the keys to the #5 off to Paul Tracy, who in his last race collided with Mario and sent him out of the race. Color that ironic.

Meanwhile Robert Doornbos decided he'd had enough of being Graham Rahal's teammate and decided he's be a much better fit with EJ Viso. Viso and Doornbos should provide the most exciting tag team since the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff. Back at NHL, Oriol Servia has taken control of the "06". This marks rougly the 161st racing team of Servia's career.

Since this is a road course that means Richard Antinucci is in and Jaques Lazier is out at Team 3G. Stanton Barrett is still nowhere to be seen, but he might be chillin' with Tomas Scheckter and Will Power since neither of them are entered today.

And above all, Jack Arute is back.

With the lineups sorted out, it's time to start.

0: Today's sign of the Apocalypse: Ed Carpenter is being interviewed in the pre-race show for a road course race.

0: Paul Tracy is being interviewed by Arute. That KV Racing firesuit doesn't exactly have a slimming effect. I don't know about you, but I'd love to have dinner with these two personalities so long as I wasn't buying.

0: And by my count we have just witnessed the 10,000th airing of that IZOD commercial. * blows kazoo *

0: The supremely talented Lewis Franck observes: "Does Dale change his shirt or is he like Adrian Monk when it comes to wardrobe."

0: Discussing tires, NostraBeekhuis just told me I'm breathing 78% nitrogen. I suddenly find myself coughing uncontrollably.

0: Was that footage of Graham as an infant? If so, why was he dressed like a girl? Should we start calling him "Grahamica"?

0: Thank you to those of you on twitter who informed me that was Graham's sister Michaela in the girly outfit. Order is restored to the universe.

0: Footage show that Danica and Milka had a little side by side incident on the track during practice just as they did last year. Sadly, no post-practice discussion involving towels this year. Don't hate me but I was kinda hoping they'd go after each other with folding chairs this time.

0: At some point this pre-race show turns into an actual race, right?

0: On a personal note my offspring, all fans of various (winless) AGR drivers, have just informed me they are all on the Justin Wilson bandwagon today. I'm sure they aren't alone, especially since the the man they lovingly call "Freakishly Large" is starting in the front row next to "BOOOO! Briscoe".

0: Graphic shows Scott Dixon has 19 career open-wheel wins. AJ Foyt has over 60. 'Nuff said.

0: I think some librarian just plainly stated "drivers start your engines". Get that woman some MonaVie!

0: And starting on the backstretch ??? we are GREEN!

1: Briscoe leads the field, followed by Wilson, Dixon, Dario, Rahal.

2: Tony Kanaan has a little braking issues at "the keyhole" and does a little off-roading. Avoids hitting the tires or stalling the car, so the "TiKi Torch" soldiers on.

4: Not much passing happening, althbough Graham Rahal has done a little lawn mowing here and there. Still in 5th with Helio well beind as the front five start to pull away.

6: After running up all in his attenuator for most of the race, Justin Wilson pulls up alongside of Ryan Briscoe, noses beyond, and...got him! Dale Coyne car "flips the script" and takes the lead.

8: Justin is now up by over two seconds. SEE YA!

10: Wilson now ahead by nearly four seconds. He's not a "road course specialist", he's a "road course ass whoopin' machine".

13: On a side note, Servia is 11th while Doornbos is 16th. If you're not paying attention to that I'm pretty sure folks at HVM and NHL are.

16: Wilson by over fives seconds, making it look easy. According to Dale Coyne he's also conserving fuel. Probably brewing some tea in the cockpit as well. Politely lapping Milka - the first lapped car of the day.

19: And now in the span of about 30 seconds Briscoe, Dixon, Dario, Rahal all lap Milka. It looks like she just pitted a lap ago, so she's been lapped TWICE so far.

24: Leaders should be making pit stops soon, so we'll see if Wilson's massive lead holds up.

26: Just noticed that Dan Wheldon is in 20th, the last car on the lead lap and one spot ahead of Milka. These road courses may have completely killed his career.

28: Paul Tracy is all up on Viso for 8th. This is gonna be awesome...and we cut away??? Ack! Wilson pits and surrenders the lead.

30: Helio and Rahal made pit stops. Apparently Tracy got around Viso. Would have been nice to see some passing.

31: Briscoe and Dario pit, and coming out Wilson gets around them.

32: Scott Dixon - the current leader - pits, exits, and is promptly passed by Wilson. Because Justin is that awesome.

35: Gil de Ferran on screen talking about his soon to be IndyCar team and Jack Arute drops a new name on him: Will Power.

36: Dixon is hanging in there, less than car length behind Wilson.

37: Milka Duno sets a nice pick on Wilson and Dixon gets around them both and takes the lead. It's not enough to be slow, now Milka has to help Dixon to the lead. Time to start throwing things.

41: YELLOW! Helio loses the rear of the car and slides into the dirt, then pulls back out. So why do we have a full course yellow?

42: Dixon, Wilson, Briscoe, Dario, Rahal. Hunter-Reay is in 6th in an AJ Foyt car.

44: Back to GREEN, and in the first turn Rahal gets around Dario for fourth. Rahal feeling the hometown love.

45: YELLOW! Danica is sliding backwards in the dirt. Car is covert in dust. Such a dirty little girl. Replay shows she was totally punted by Conweas, err, Conway.

47: And Danica is dragged out of the bunker, re-fired, and on her way a couple laps down. Could use a car wash though.

49: And once again we go GREEN, but with no passing this time. Mike Conway has to serve a driver-through penalty, though he's still getting the better end of the deal because he's well ahead of Danica.

52: Dixon is now leading Wilson by over a second. That giant sucking sound you hear is the fun leaving the track.

56: Milka is now FOUR laps down, even with the yellows.

59: Dixon ahead by SIX seconds over Wilson.

60: Mutoh is in 7th? When...how.. did this happen??!?

61: Rahal pits for the final time today, moving Hyphen Reay to 5th.

62: Hunter-Reay pits, putting Mutoh in the Top 5. Hideki is in the Top 5 and we haven't seen him all day.

63: Wilson pits, but appears to go REALLY slow entering the pits. Gets fuel and tires and STALLS the car!!! Gets it back together but not before he makes a 30 second pit stop. Others pitting and leaving around him. Much wailing and lamentation by fans of the underdog.

64: Dixon pits, six point something seconds and he's back out. Still leading, but now Marco is in second. Briscoe in third. Marco still needs to make another put stop so don't get too excited.

65: Justin Wilson has dropped back to 15th. Dixon, Andretti, Briscoe, Dario, Rahal. Hunter-Reay and Mutoh appear to be a few tenths of a second apart, battling for 6th, so that might be kinda nice to watch Mr Broadcast Director.

69: We have been informed that Scott Dixon, now leading by 10 seconds over Marco and 13 seconds over Briscoe. And he's run the fastest lap of the race. And I might go make myself a sandwich.

70: Graham goes dirt tracking, but does not stall and gets back on the track.

71: Coochie Cam. This would be more meaningful if the drivers had to touch the clutch to shift gears. But they don't, so it's not. At least to me.

73: Milka appears to have been finally parked. From @DiecastDude
76: Marco has made a pit stop, and now the leaders are Ganassi, Penske, Ganassi. Hunter-Reay and Mutoh round out the Top 5.

77: Finally we see Mutoh. Right behind Hunter-Reay, battling for fourth. Meanwhile we can clearly see VItor Meira sitting in the pits next too AJ. Seeing Vitor is probably the best thing I've seen all day. No witty comment required.

79: Dario trying to pass Briscoe, with both of them doing a little sideways dirt track action. Still no passing though as they run in 2nd and 3rd about a day and a half behind Scott Dixon.

82: And...not much happening. I'm sure you'll be thrilled to learn that Wilson is back up to 13th. Also, Servia 11th and Doornbos 14th.

84: White flag, symbolic of how much more we can take of watching Dixon lead by 27 seconds (literally).

85: And it's win #20 for Scott Dixon. Let's wait for the others...waiting...still waiting...and it's Briscoe with Dario still stuck behind him. Then Hunter-Reay and Mutoh.

Congrats to Scott Dixon and his entire Ganassi team. They pretty much flawless today. Briscoe is in second yet again, because that's something he does well - finish in second to Ganassi cars.

Kudos also to Hunter-Reay and Mutoh for valiant Top 5 finishes today. Take what you can get while the Big Two continue to invade podiums all across North America.

The next race will be in Sonoma at Infineon Raceway, where your humble host will be LIVE on the scene. But that's two weeks from now, so in the meantime, take care and drive safely. Thank you very much, and good night.