Out of respect for readers of all different political flavors, My Name Is IRL is generally an endorsement-free zone. There are enough politics in racing to discuss around here, and if you really must get into a “my party” vs “your party” conflict there is no shortage of other places to get your anger on. And might I offer my sincerest thanks to you all for your for your understanding in this matter.

However, on occasion an exception appears requiring an official endorsement and promotion, and now is such a time. Rarely does a candidate with such courage, such focus, such ability and such excitement appear in need of your vote as does this man, who I whole-heartedly back for the title he seeks.

EJ Viso for Autosport Rookie of the Year


We know Vitor Meira won’t be voting for him. Nor Graham Rahal. Nor possibly any other IndyCar regular, so your vote is of the utmost importance to young Ernesto. If your conscience does not object, please consider a quick trip over to the Autosport site cast a vote for EJ Viso as “Rookie of the Year”. As the saying goes, vote early and often.

I’m not EJ Viso, but I approve this message.

(Photo: TrackSide Online)

In case you missed it, or even if you just want to watch the hilarity over and over, here as found by our buddy meesh is the Mother of All Hand Puppet Shows in all of it's glorious splendor. Now with Australian TV commentary for your viewing enhancement.



"OK, if you were one of those safety workers and you were getting yelled at, how fast would you work for her?"

Ouch!

Now, I realize a lot of folks have piled on Mrs Hospenthal for this apparent display of selfishness, but I for one feel a degree of sympathy. There's a frustration shown in the tragedy of her hand puppet show, which is a sobering tale about effective communication. You know that feeling when you're talking to someone who doesn't speak English, so you instinctively speak LOUDER? Well, that's what she's doing, only with her hands. MORE HAND MOVEMENTS!

Obviously the key to avoiding this in the future - other than not stalling her car - is to help our beloved 2008 Twin Ring Motegi Champion learn the proper techniques for speaking with her hands. So here are some helpful words in American Sign Language, with images courtesy of the folks at LifePrint.com.


EXCUSE: Use a small double movement

"Excuse", as in "Excuse me, I realize you're rather busy working with Graham Rahal's car for the umteenth time this year, but could I please have a moment of your time?"




HELP: The sign for "help" is made by closing your right hand. Place your right hand on the outstretched palm of your left hand. Raise both hands.

"Help", as in "Help, please, for I have inadvertently taken my foot off the clutch and stalled my vehicle on the race course like a total idiot."




CAR/DRIVE: The sign for "car" or "drive" is made by using both hands in a closed position. Move both hands as if controlling a steering wheel.

"Car/Drive", as in "I need you to help me restart my car so I can drive, which incredible as it may seem right now is actually what I do for a living when I'm not modeling swimsuits."



THANK YOU: The sign for "thank you" is made by touching your lips with the front of the fingers of your right hand. Your hand should be an "open-b." Move your hand away from your face, palms upward. Smile.

"Thank You", as in "Thank you so much for assisting me so that I may once again race behind those mother scratchers at Ganassi and Penske."


Who knows - if we work diligently, we might even get the Delphi Safety Team to one day understand these signs.

Welcome to Australia, mates, where the IndyCar series hosts it's first ever meaningless race. At least in terms of the championship standings. It's still a race, and someone will still win, and that's all that really matters.

I gotta be honest with you, friends; I have no idea what to expect. As further evidence that your humble host is a bona fide IRL snob this is in fact my first time watching a race at this venue in a long, long time. Judging from what I've seen in qualifications it looks a lot like a race through a giant tunnel, as the track seems extremely narrow for these Dallaras.

No worries, though, as yesterday I heard Scott Goodyear say "these drivers race completely hard all the way around the track." Ahem.

And on that note, please welcome back Mr Judd himself, Mr Dario Franchitti!

OK, let's get locked and loaded here. As our good buddy Bash told me, "Vegemite - check. Foster's - check. (okay, so it's crap and I don't drink it.) Roos and koalas - check. Miss Indy poster - uh, no. 10s of thousands of drunk Aussie race fans - check. Let's go racing, mates!"

And with that, it's time to start.

0: Our crew today is Bob Jenkins, Goodyear, and Jon Beekhuis. Like Jack Arute at Motegi, Jan is the only one actually at the race. Unlike Jack, Jon will likely not provide us any moments of unintentional humor. Pity.

0: Unless of course you count Jon's hair. Bringing Chia back.

1: And we're green. Much short-cutting of chicanes. Moraes gets spun but he's quickly on his way. Just did a little donut in preparation for his first victory some day.

2: Will Power is pulling ahead of the field like he's got some sort of proprietary turbo installed. Fellow Aussie Ryan Briscoe is now in second. Because I'm such a wet blanket I'll note no Australian has ever won this event.

3: Vitor Meira is being shown in last place. Even on a different continent with a new team, it's still Poor Vitor.

4: It's Power (by 4 seconds), Briscoe, Dixon, Hunter-Reay (Babe), Helio. Today's underdog will be Tags in sixth.

6: Much of the telecast right now has featured an on-board camera on Briscoe Inferno's Dallara. I'd like to take a moment to say that while I don't think these cars are hideous, these "cattle guard" front wings with the vertical plates have GOT to go.

7: Judging by the graphic of the layout, this circuit looks approximately like a femur.

8: Justin Wilson passes Andretti 3.0 for 13th, on camera. Marco had previously been invisible for the last three or four races.

8: Yellow for Mario Moraes who is stalled on the course. Looks like he hit the wall and bent the left rear suspension. Hos off-season begins...now.

10: Still yellow, and a few of the non-leaders pit. Meanwhile here's some lovely footage of Moraes running over your living room.

10: Fanicas, your girl is in 20th. She started 23rd so she's making like the Jeffersons and movin' on up. I can't believe I haven't said that before.

11: Back to green and Ryan Briscoe falls asleep as Power hits the throttle way early.

11: Oopsie. On the restart Helio clipped Danica attempting a pass. We'll need some new tires for Helio, new nose for Danica. Or for her car, rather.

13: EJ Viso has gone from 10th to 7th today. If you asked me to pick just one driver to follow on a street course, he's the guy. And yes, I realize that sounds like something Larry King would say.

14: It's all Power, all the time. He still hasn't made a pit stop though.

16: Holy storming Americans! From starting in the last few rows we now have Rahal in 10th, Carpenter 12th, Rice in 13th, Quattro in 14th.

17: And Will Power just clips the wall, damages his front wings and possibly his suspension, and slows to a crawl. Crikey! No yellow flag though, as Briscoe gladly takes the lead.

18: Briscoe, Dixon, Babe, Tags, Mr Judd. Viso in 6th, waiting to pounce.

20: And the Inferno pits, surrendering the lead to the world's leading fuel conservationist, Mr Scott Dixon.

21: And the Iceman pits, but he comes out behind the pace car because we have a full-course caution for...what?

21: OK, it's for an incident in turn 8 involving Ed Carpenter, Graham Rahal, and Foyt IV. Other than wing damage to the Son of Stache it appears the cars are undamaged.

22: Danica appears to be stopped somewhere else as well. Hand puppet show! Looks like she didn't hit anything, just stalled it.

23: Finally, Danicker get her car fired up. The hand puppet show was epic, though. Truly, it was.

24: Dario pits. Briscoe, Dixon, Tags, Babe and Kanaan are your new leaders. 56 laps to the podium, Alex!

25: Townsend Bell is shown in 23rd. What happened? I have no idea.

27: No change up front. We're entering a parade portion of the program. If you personally need to make a pit stop, go right ahead.

28: All right, hurry back! Dario got wrong in a turn and has spun without contact to a stop near turn five. Sadly, there are no corresponding shots of Ashley and her lovely hat collection. Full course yellow.

32: And we're back to green. Hunter-Reay all up in Tagliani's business for third.

33: Here's our first mention of Helio's tax issues. The broadcast team can't pretend this doesn't exist, but personally my viewing is not enhanced. Suddenly "I drove it like I stole it!" has lost it's charm.

35: Tony Kanaan has slowed into his pit box and exited the vehicle. Jon tells us it's right rear suspension damage due to the "concrete confines". Channeling his inner Arute there.

36: Servia is fearlessly contesting Viso for 5th, occasionally going two-wide. I guess he didn't get the memo about EJ.

40: Briscoe pits. Dixon pits. Tagliani leads with Babe right behind him Viso, and Mutoh right behind them.

42: Tags and Babe both pit, but Ryan ran into Alex entering pit lane. Minor but noticeable damage to the Ethanol car but he beats Tagliani out. Viso leads.

43: Viso pits. Now it's Briscoe, Dixon, Hunter-Reay, Viso, Tagliani. Rahal now in 6th, Mutoh back to 10th.

44: The IHJ exercises his authori-tay and orders Viso to let Tagliani by. Viso was blocking.

46: We do not anticipate anymore pit stops so this is now Briscoe's race to loses. He leads Dixon by just over a second, Hunter-Reay by 7 seconds, Tagliani by 14 seconds.

49: Viso was ordered to surrender another position, this time to Servia because he cut a corner. He's now back to 6th. When I said there was one guy I'd watch I didn't realize it would be the same guy Mr Barnhart would be watching intently.

50: The Inferno now leads the Iceman by over two seconds. Fire and Ice, haha...OK, that was exceptionally lame. Sorry. If you're still awake on the East Coast you deserve better. You probably won't find it here, though.

51: Dan Wheldon is 60 seconds back, a non-factor in 12th. I'm noting this because I can't imagine going an entire IndyCar race without mentioning "Wheldon".

53: It's looking like the podium will be Briscoe, Dixon, Hunter-Reay.

54: The leaders go around Ed Carpenter, who's sporting a black and green livery this weekend. He wants to be like Viso.

55: Dixon has managed to close the gap, now just a few car lengths behind Briscoe. If you're still awake, you may get to see a race here.

56: And now..."The Ocho" cuts to commercial. You gotta be kidding me! We've got side-by-side, but come on people. Dear Versus, please don't do this next year.

57: Dixon has ceased gaining on Briscoe. Maybe he doesn't have enough car, or maybe he's going to let Briscoe win because he feels so bad about spinning and taking him out during The Brain Freeze at The Glen earlier this year.

58: Looks like both of the leaders hit some debris, but are both continuing on.

59: Ed Carpenter has spun out on the last lap. This wouldn't be the first time he's made that move to get some late air time.

60: It's Briscoe for the win, the first native to take the checkers at Surfer's Paradise. Pop open a Foster's, mate! Dixon, Hunter-Reay, Tagliani and Servia round out the Top 5.

Briscoe proceeds to do donuts in just about every turn on this track. He's feeling the Australian love. Good on him.

And just like that, that's the end. Of the race, of the show, of the season. Possibly even this event. Not much else to say except congrats to Ryan and Team Penske for the win, and to the entire IRL for a memorable season. It's late, so thank you all very much - good night!

Pole position at Surfer's Paradise, that is. For the third consecutive year.


Catch all the race action on ESPN Classic (or as pressdog likes to call it, "The Ocho") tonight at 10:30PM EDT. If you don't have it you can always get live video at the IndyCar.com site.

Enjoy the show!

(Photo: BAM Media)

With huge gaps in reporting since the season finale at Chicagoland, you might have been wondering what happened to ESPN.com’s John Oreovicz. As it turns out, he’s had his nose to the grindstone, burning up the calculator. With the last three IndyCar series championships finishing so close as to remain mathematically undetermined until literally the final lap of the season, Oreo has taken the time to calculate who might have been the champion had the IRL used a different scoring method.

Fun stuff for wonks. Here’s what we’ve got for theoretical champions:

Old F1 (points for Top 6 only)
2006: Sam Hornish Jr
2007: Scott Dixon
2008: Scott Dixon

New F1 (points for Top 8 only)
2006: Helio Castroneves
2007: Scott Dixon
2008: Scott Dixon (tie-breaker over Helio Castroneves)

CART (points for Top 12, “most laps led”, “pole position”)
2006: Helio Castroneves
2007: Dario Franchitti
2008: Helio Castroneves

Champ Car (over-officious gibberish)
2006: Dan Wheldon
2007: Dario Franchitti
2008: Helio Castroneves

N-Word (points for all entries, “most laps led”, “any lap led”)
2006: Dan Wheldon
2007: Dario Franchitti
2008: Scott Dixon

Now, not to be ungrateful to Oreo for all of his hard work but these 2006 calculations are, well, meaningless because competition in the final race was stultified by the existing scoring system. (That’s right, I said “stultified”. I’ve got a dictionary and I’m not afraid to use.) Dan Wheldon raced to the lead at Chicagoland, but teammate Scott Dixon was ordered to yield and finish behind him. Behind them Sam Hornish Jr was content to race around in third because he would clinch the championship from that position. Once Helio Castroneves had been penalized for speeding in the pits (Helio penalized? Go figure!) and taken out of contention early in the race, it was little more than a high-speed parade for the leaders.

But on most days Oreo is a reporter, and as such he’s got some actual news tucked neatly at the end of the article. Here’s Brian Barnhart discussing how he wants to get wiggy with the current system.

"As we move toward a more diversified schedule, the IndyCar Series is the truest test of a driver in the world," he said. "We just finished rule-book meetings, and one of the things we considered is more points for pole at road and street course meetings. It may be appropriate to award points for our Firestone Fast Six knockout format, and we're looking at that as a change for 2009."

Hold the phone, Mr IHJ. You wanna do what? Fasted qualification has it’s own merits, like say starting at the front and getting a nice supplemental check, but you’re talking about giving points for something that isn’t derived from performance during the race. Come on, even the N-Word doesn’t do that.

If I may be analogous (shout out to Noah Webster), here’s why: Suppose a bunch of single buddies get together for a night on the town, and one of them comes home without so much as a phone number. Do the other hypothetical buddies give said buddy credit for having the nicest clothes or the most pleasant cologne or showing up at the meeting place first? I don’t think so.

Racing is about racing, and by racing I mean racing during the race. Giving points for anything else diminishes the objective, which is to race on race day. At least that’s the case for all of those other series Oreo listed that are currently in existence.

After two test sessions in the wee hours of the Western Hemisphere, Will Power is dominating the early laps. Back in his home state of Queensland, Power is setting the pace for the Timing and Scoring at Surfer’s Paradise, leading the field by over a second.

Meanwhile, EJ Viso and Bruno Junqueira Mario Moraes are simply leading the Scoring.


Livin’ in the land down under…
Where women glow and men plunder.

(Photo: BAM Media)

Without a press conference or official announcement, the Marty Roth error era has officially ended. As the Toronto Star reports, Marty has cleared out his locker, filling up a box with tattered scoring sheets, crumpled Dallara parts, and all the bitterness he can carry. Here's the story he tells to Norris McDonald.

"I actually have not talked directly to the IRL about this," Roth told me in conversation this week. "I've called; they won't call me back. But this is what happened:

"I was approached by three men at the last race in Chicago who wanted to get involved with my team – to run it and to market it. That has always been a big problem for me, a lack of budgeting. That and a lack of testing really did me in. When I could test, I did well – including on the road courses. When I couldn't test – and they wouldn't let me test most of the time – I had a hard time.

"The IRL told them that they didn't want me driving any more, that they wanted me out of the cockpit and somebody else should drive. They wanted me to just be an owner. The quote was: `His demographic is as an owner, not as a driver.'”

(MORE from Wheels.ca)

The article indicates the IRL actually considered letting Roth run a few more races before Marty himself pulled the plug on the whole thing, and Roth – as well as the article’s author – seem to think this is an issue of Ageism. Which if you read nothing but this article of sunshine discussing Marty’s qualification times would make you think it is.

But it isn’t because he’s old; it’s because Marty sucked.

When discussing Roth, who by the way is no longer listed in IndyCar.com “Drivers” drop-down list, the first thing that comes to mind is how slow he is compared to his, uh, colleagues. And by slow we’re not talking about qualifications so eagerly mentioned in the article. No we’re talking about the kind of slow where the leaders try to avoid crashing when lapping repeatedly on race day when most fans are watching.

And speaking of crashing, that’s the second thing that comes to mind, because in four attempts at The Greatest Spectacle in Racing the youthful exuberance of Roth has managed to finish the race ZERO times. Accident, Handling, Accident, Contact - and that’s just at Indy. As mentioned before, he’s only finished 10 of all 21 ICS starts.

But those are only part of the reason for putting the kibosh on Roth’s IndyCar career. Being slow is one thing, being prone to crashing is another, but it’s how much it disrupts the other teams that gives the league valid reason for giving Roth and his racing license the heave ho.

With links mostly supplied by the braintrust at TrackSide Online, the un-official chroniclers or record of the Indy Racing League, here is the condensed version of the Marty Roth 2008 season. Check out not only how many times Marty crashed, but how many times practice sessions had to be cut short for all drivers due to his actions.

Homestead – Parked after 53 laps for going too slow.

St Pete (Did Not Start) – Full course yellow in practice on Friday. And Saturday. And Sunday.

Motegi – Crashed after 44 laps.

Kansas – Parked after 43 laps for going too slow, but not before running over Luczo Dragon Racing tire changer Simon Morely.

Indy – Crashed after 61 laps.

Milwaukee (Did Not Start) – Crashed in Saturday practice.

Texas – Finished 22nd, 7 laps back.

Iowa (Did Not Start) – Crashed in practice Saturday.

Richmond – Parked after 117 laps for going too slow.

Nashville – Finished 13th, 1 lap down, for his highest career finish.

Mid Ohio – Finished 21st, 5 laps back.

Edmonton – Off track in morning warmup. Finished 21st, 8 laps back.

Kentucky – Parked after 98 laps due to “mechanical” issues.

Infineon – Full course yellow in practice on Friday. Finished 25th, 4 laps back.

Detroit (Did Not Start) – Full course yellow in practice on Friday. And Saturday.

Chicagoland – Qualified 9th and finished 16th, but...

Marty Roth nearly ended Helio Castroneves' day before it started. Roth pitted before the start with radio issues, then zoomed around the field to re-take his ninth place on the grid. Helio did not see Marty coming and nearly collided with the Canadian as he warmed his tires. Race control tried to get Roth to move to the back but failed.

Boy, from start to finish that’s a spectacular season there friends. In 16 races Marty started 12 times and finished 6 times – never on the lead lap. Astoundingly Marty says “When I could test, I did well – including on the road courses,” despite the fact he never finished in the Top 20 on ANY track that is not an oval. How Roth can complain “When I could test...” when he personally abbreviated so many practice sessions this year is an irony rich in either dishonesty or delusion.

Author McDonald ridiculously concludes in that article that if the IRL hasn’t sent the same “go away” message to all 15 drivers who finished behind Roth in the standings (including drivers who never finished behind Roth in a race) then Marty is owed an apology. Riiiiiight.

Sorry, but for being both a moving chicane on race day as well as regularly scheduled yellow flag during practice sessions it would stand to reason that it’s Marty that should be the one issuing the apologies, and he should be issuing them to every one of his former competitors.

What does this one say?



Team Australia IndyCar star and local favourite Will Power has today arrived on the Gold Coast ahead of his home event, the Nikon 300 on October 23-26.

Whenever he returns to the Gold Coast, Power is quick to hit the beach for a swim. This year, he was greeted by a pleasant surprise.

When members of the Southport Surf Life Saving Club heard of Power’s love for all things sand and surf, they were quick to acknowledge his passion with an honourary member of their club.

(Photo: BAM Media)

I have to credit our buddy meesh for wondering this out loud last week, but lately I too have been asking “Where in the world is the Luczo Dragon Racing web site?”

At first glance it’s just plain silly that an IndyCar team wouldn’t have some kind of internet presence for fans, especially when smaller teams like HVM, Dreyer & Reinbold, and Conquest all have sites. Geez, even Roth Racing has a site (for now).

But on further inspection this becomes a bona fide embarrassment when you look into the backgrounds of the Luczo Dragon partners. From the nearly 80% accurate Wikipedia:

(Jay) Penske is the Chairman, CEO, and founder of VSI. VSI is an interactive media and technology company that owns Mail.com, MovieLine.com, MailTimes; and provides affinity web services to sports franchises, universities, large corporations, non-profit foundations, entertainment entities, and other large affinity organizations. He was also cofounder and Chairman of Firefly Mobile, Inc., a Chicago-based wireless company that develops the firefly (mobile phone) for kids, and other youth targeted mobile products. Penske also owns Dragon Books, Ltd., a Los Angeles based bookstore which sells rare and collectible books.”

Stephen J. Luczo (also known as Steve Luczo) is the Chairman of the Board of Directors of Seagate Technology. He has also served on the Boards of Directors of Gadzoox Microsystems, Inc. (renamed Gadzoox Networks, Inc. in 1997, and acquired by Broadcom in 2003), Dragon Systems, Inc., Crystal Decisions, Inc. (formerly Seagate Software, acquired by Business Objects in 2003), and e2open.

Do these seem like men who would have maybe a modicum of interest in representing their business ventures online? Or should I ask, “Does the Pope wear a funny hat?”

Come on, LDR - even the most unprofessional of word butchers have web sites these days. For just a few bucks you can go right now to a major domain name registrar and in a matter of minutes you too can have yourself a merry little site. Do it.

At the risk of inciting some possibly inaccurate rumor mongering, I’m just gonna throw two things out there for discussion.

(Roger) Penske is uncertain how to proceed for 2009 as it is unclear when (Helio) Castroneves' legal situation will be resolved. Penske plans to wait until after the Australia race to formulate a plan, and he scoffed at the suggestion that replacement drivers have been considered.

"It's way too early for that," he said. "We don't even know when this thing might go to trial. It might not even be next year."

(MORE from IndyStar)

OK. Now consider this news from the world of Formula One.

According to motorsports portal Grande Premio, (Rubens) Barrichello is now set to test an Indy car in November, possibly at the Homestead road course.

Arranged by IndyCar engine supplier Honda, the test would put Barrichello in a Team Penske car– Roger Penske’s outfit has yet to announce its 2009 lineup, and given the uncertainty regarding Helio Castroneves’ future in the wake of the two-time Indy 500 winner’s tax indictment, it’s likely to be among the last to confirm its drivers for next year.

(MORE from SpeedTV)

Before you have visions of Nigel Mansell dancing in your heads, I would advise you to keep your skepticism set to “High. Remember, it was just this last April where we heard Marco was going to F1 and Rubens was going to take his spot at AGR, and that didn't exactly happening. This doesn't mean Rubens won't be driving the #3 come 2009, but it by no means means he will be either.

Of course, if we were talking about Sebastien Bourdais going to Penske, well that would be an entirely different story, right? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.