The local paper here in the Valey of the Sun has an article today entitled "Tips to avoid N****R traffic this weekend". I was about to click on it, but then I remembered...

I'M GOING TO LONG BEACH!!!

That's right, friends. Sam Hornish Jr is in town, but your humble host is not. For the first time since Danica Patrick's rookie season there is an IndyCar Series race within a day's drive of this here word butcher, and it just so happens it's now perhaps the second-most famous event on the schedule. I mean, it's thrilling enough to see an IndyCar race of any kind in person, but this event also features the Toyota Pro Celebrity Race. Jamie Little, Keanu Reeves, Al Unser Jr, and most importantly Chloe from "24".

With credential in hand I'll be updating My Name Is IRL from the media center, which means I'll have innumerable conversations explaining "No, I'm not pressdog - I'm that other guy." I'll also be providing twitter updates @MyNameIsIRL throughout the weekend, and if I can find a spare camera laying around perhaps even some pictures as well.

LIVE on location coverage starts tomorrow. Let me know if you have any requests - I'm there to represent.

Here, the fortunate ones through money, or influence, or luck, might obtain exit visas and scurry to Lisbon; and from Lisbon, to the New World. But the others wait in Casablanca... and wait... and wait... and wait.

Like the WW II refugees in Casablanca waiting at Rick's Café Américain, so to must we all continue to wait for verdicts as for yet another day the jury in Helio's trial has deliberated without conclusion. However, there are two notes worth, uh, noting.

1. The Judge rejected the motion for a mistrial. Defense attorneys had argued that because the Judge Donald Graham instructed jurors that a "binding agreement" could be "written or oral", which apparently never came up in the trial, that this shoudl be a mistrial. Shockingly (or not) the good Judge decided not to declare a mistrial on himself.

2. The Judge validates an argument of the defense. One of Helio's primary arguments has been along the lines of "I'm not evading anything, and I'm planning on paying the taxes when they're due this year." I'm paraphrasing, not quoting. I only quote Helio when he says "Fun-tastic!". Anyhow:

Early in the day, the jurors submitted a set of questions to federal Judge Donald Graham. The key question was whether a taxpayer who agreed to defer income to later years could delay payment of federal taxes to the years that he was actually paid.

The judge's answer was 'yes'. This is considered a critical issue because Castroneves, who's been at the courthouse every day during jury deliberations, has said he intended to pay the taxes he owed after he started receiving money next month from a special account that had been set up.

I'm not legal expert, but...well, I'll wait for legal experts in the house to comment on this. In the meantime I'll get to work on an "As Time Goes By" reference.

We here in the U.S. of A. know what tomorrow is. It's April 15th, or as we like to call it Take It In the Shorts from the I.R.S. Tax Day, and it holds a bit of irony for Helio Castroneves.

It seems that since Friday jurors are still grappling with the legal whatchamacallits in the tax code, and in the past few days have asked the presiding judge no less than three times to give them a little help with their task. Apparently after sitting through all of the trial they're just now getting around this "constructive receipt" idea and would like the the Honorable Judge Donald Graham to 'splain this dealio to them.

Jurors asked three questions in their latest note about these tax principles, delaying deliberations for more than two hours while lawyers and U.S. District Judge Donald Graham haggled over a response. In the end, Graham gave jurors a partial answer - but said they must decide much of it themselves.

"The questions you have presented are difficult for us to respond to," Graham told the panel of seven women and five men. Jurors failed to reach a verdict Tuesday and planned to resume discussions Wednesday.

(MORE from Forbes/AP)

I'm no legal expert, but it would seem that if the juroros are having some questions on the subject they might be reluctant to find a defendant guilty of something they don't understand. Then again, there are 18 total counts here among Helio, his sister and his representative, so one count avoided does not make any of them "EEE-nnocent."

Will at is it May yet? says that Helio's attorney has taken the opportunity of these inquiries to file for a mistrial.

Roy Black has more tricks than Houdini. Well, today the court provided some supplimental instruction to the jury regarding deferral of income. These instructions were, according to Helio’s defense team, a substantial modification to the instructions originally given to the jury, with some additional language added to them. The problem is that this violates Rule 30 of the federal code. Now, I’m no tax law expert, but I do know you cannot change the rules midway through the case, and that’s basically what they’re claiming. They say that they made their closing arguments based on one interpretation given to the jury, but a second interpretation was given once in deliberations.

None of us are tax experts, Will, but sometimes we play them on blogs, right? Present company included.

One final note: I received an email from someone who is a bit of a legal expert giving her take on the situation. Just for amusing purposes only, here is her view on the recent developments.

Based upon the question asked on Friday, I would say that the jury is not yet convinced that Feds met their burden. Given the complexity and ambiguity of the tax laws I am not surprised they had questions.

As for the transcript request, I take that as further proof there is uncertainty that the government's case is correct. They are looking at the definition of the law and the witnesses that described Helio's actions regarding the application of that law. Someone is not convinced he had constructive possession of the money.

However, the real concern is: Are they doing this because one or two people need to be connived Helio is not guilty or are they doing this because there are only one or two people that think he is innocent.

Generally speaking if the jury is asking for a transcript they are not convinced as a whole regarding that witnesses testimony or that party's case. If they are clear about something they will not waist time reviewing the testimony.

Only time will tell. The jury will resume deliberations yet again tomorrow, so if you need to you can go back to finishing your own tax-related paperwork tonight.

There's probably some irony, coincidence, or both involved here. In 2002 Paul Tracy lost what appeared to be an Indy 500 victory after race officials determined he made a pass of Helio Castroneves after the final yellow flag warning locked the positions for drivers.

Today, while Helio waits for a jury to decide his future, word comes from TSN that Paul Tracy will, for the first time since that '02 race, be returning to race at Indianapolis this year.

When the entry list for next month's Indianapolis 500 comes out this week, Paul Tracy's name is likely to be on it.

The "Thrill from West Hill" is expected to confirm a deal with KV Racing to enter one of their cars in this year's race as well as several other IndyCar events, most likely the Canadian stops in Edmonton and Toronto.

The intrepid Curt Cavin adds more.

KV's full-season driver is Mario Moraes. It is still possible that the team owned by Kevin Kalkhoven and Jimmy Vasser could have an additional car in the 500, either driven by Townsend Bell or Oriol Servia.

Both sources indicate a presser is scheduled for this Friday.

I don't think many people would argue that Tracy would be a fine addition to Field of 33, but I'd like to ask him to strongly consider bringing the wrestling mask. If only for media day.

It's been a few days now since the .3 rating for the VERSUS debut at St Pete was dropped on us all. I still haven't figured out what exactly that means (I think we;re at 233 thousand households which, if they all happen to be like The Bradfords, is probably an acceptable number for now.

And even if the households aren't as populous, it seems this whole getting over leaving ESPN is now expected to take some time, and that's why there's a 10-year deal with the still-growing network. So maybe this isn't such a big deal after all.

Then again, DOWN 79%!!! *reaching again for paper bag*

However, shocked as your humble host continues to be at this ratings result, all the belly-aching in the world won't help make that number go any higher. VERSUS certainly put together a fabulous broadcast, and they had the most visible advertising plan we've ever seen, so they really did their part. They're trying.

Well, I've decided that instead of complaining about this ad nauseum I will do the same thing as VERSUS, which is to put a little personal effort into increasing this number. When the going gets tough, the tough get going, right? WRONG! The tough call their friends!

And that's exactly what I have in the last few days set out to do. The first person I called was my old neighbor Jennifer. She's an F1 fan, so I figured she might be willing to take a stab at watching some IndyCar on VERSUS. After hearing my request she said she "What's VERSUS?" Problem number one there. I told her what it was and she got back to me and said she could get it, but she had to pay extra, and with times being what they are she wasn't going to pay the extra $10 per month.

Next up was my current neighbor Jimmy, who's a fan of N-Word racing. He's admitted to watching the Indy 500, so I thought I'd ask him if he would kindly consider watching the next few VERSUS broadcasts and letting me know what he thought. "What's VERSUS?" he asked in a bit of deja vu. I let him know and he said he doesn't get that and with times being what they are...well, you get the idea. It's officially a trend now.

Lastly, in my desperation I went to my old friend Chamberlain, who's as big of a sports fan as you will find. He watches some auto racing, but not much, so I asked if he'd consider helping a friend out by watching some IndyCar on VERSUS. Now I know Chamberlain knows what VERSUS is because he's a huge hockey fan, so I asked if he wouldn't mind watching a few races and giving me some feedback.

"Sorry, I gotta work weekends" he tells me. But you can record them, right? "Oh, sure," he says. All I can think about is the clammy palms I get just thinking about ".3", so I told him "Do that and get back to me after each race." Tada! It's a deal, and I've snagged my first recruit.

So not only have I locked Chamberlain into watching, but he's promised to give a little feedback as well. It might be related to horse racing, but I don't care so long as he watches. In fact, feel free to try to proactively recruit some friends yourself to see if they can just devote a few hours on the weekend to watching, what with "times being what they are".

And if we can somehow get them all somehow factored into the Nielsen ratings, all the better.

Give a couple of IndyCar drivers some time to write and what they talk about? Racing? Women? Gambling? Somali Pirates? Nope, none of the above.

No, they're fixating on each other's hairstyles. Here's Tony Kanaan on his former teammate.

I said to myself, “Come on, this guy is Dario Franchitti. The Indianapolis 500 champion, Series champion, and he’s Ashley Judd’s husband."

So that made me wonder, “What's wrong with him?” And I’ve figured it out: It's his bloody hair!

So my plan is, and I'm going to reveal this here to my SPEEDtv.com readers…I’m going to pull a ‘Jackass’ move on him. I’m going grab my clippers and approach him on the drivers meeting and just go, BAM, right in the middle of his forehead. A big patch of hair, GONE! And then he's going to have to cut it.

Not content with that, Kanaan decides instead to make a wager of it. (Finally, some talk of gambling!) Kanaan offers "The first time he wins a race he has to shave his head, and the first time I win a race I won't cut my hair until I win again."

An offer which Dario accepts.

I see my little Brazilian friend is talking trash about me in his SPEEDtv.com column. You sure want to make that bet, TK? You’ve heard it here first, I accept.

Absolutely. It’s on!

The thing is, you guys have all seen me with a shaved head but you've never seen Tony with his full afro. When Tony lets his hair grow he's got the world's biggest 'fro. A giant disco afro, at that. It’s unreal. Looks like an oversized costume wig.

So there you have it. Dario has either agreed to either shave his own head when he wins or he's planning on not winning just to see Tony start growing the "disco afro". Use that information accordingly in your TSO Fantasy lineup.

Say, weren't these two supposed to shave Danica's head a while back?

Speaking of, click on the names to see some old school photos of Tony and Danica at Long Beach several years ago. Alternate hair included. Also, check out the Furious Wedge interpretation of "Disco Afro".

The prosecution has presented it's case for a "pattern of deception", the defense has called Helio's dad to explain who owns that Panamanian company, and closing arguments have concluded. The jurors will now be awakened from tax-induced slumber and asked to decide the fate of everyone's favorite fence climber.

Guilty? Not Guilty? If the jury acquits him he could be in a Dallara in Long Beach next week.

"If he doesn't have any issue coming out of this, he'll be in a car in Long Beach," (Roger) Penske told reporters in St. Petersburg on Saturday. The second IndyCar race of the season, the Long Beach Grand Prix begins next Sunday. "If he'd have been done (with the trial) Thursday of this week, we'd have put him in a car here on Friday. We've never backed off a minute. In fact, it's a tough situation because he doesn't have a bad bone in his body and this is a complex offshore tax, U.S. government ... all of the above involved.

"We certainly understand the concerns everybody has for him. We're hoping the jury sees he's not a culprit in this situation."

(MORE from AccountingWeb)

Then again, he could be incarcerated. The jury is officially out.

Thus tweet-eth @curtcavin.

Scott Sharp has signed to drive for Panther at Indy. He'll drive the No. 16 car.

And right after that the Braintrust at TrackSide Online added this.

TSO has confirmed that Panther Racing has signed Scott Sharp to a full month program for the Month of May at Indy. Look for the official announcement with details on Dan Wheldon's new teammate to arrive very shortly.

To the surprise of no one, Sharp's ride will be backed by Patron Tequila, and given both Panther's abilities and fact that Sharp has historically been pretty quick at Indy, we can add this car to the list of people that will have a legit shot at being a first day (top 11) qualifier.

I believe the kids today would sat "w00t!"

UPDATE: Scott's so excited he interviewed himself.

"If I get in on the first day that allows us to use the second day to work on race set up.

"The second week of course I will be committed to the fourth round of the American Le Mans Series with Patrón Highcroft Racing at Salt Lake City.

Does he have a back-up plan? Read for yourself.

Last year Jason Priestly and Jim Freudenberg's Rubicon Race Team attempted to get Max Papis in to the Indianapolis 500 in their first foray into IndyCar racing. Max didn't make the field of 33, but that didn't seems to stop this new team.

Reports earlier this spring indicated Rubicon was going to be back as a full schedule team in 2009, and that they had snapped up the newly-unemployed Buddy Rice as their driver. He was even spotted on the Rubicon Racing site. However, as folks with two eyes may have notices, there wasn't a Rubicon entry and

Today though, the Rubicon team Twitter account passed along a little info.

Rubicon Race Team is now Rubicon Sports Agency. Stay tuned for exciting announcements about our involvement in Indy Car racing.

Rubicon Sports Agency partnering with Conquest Racing. More news to follow in a few days.

A quick check of the Rubicon driver page no longer shows Rice, so are looking at maybe, possibly, could be...Max Papis to Conquest? Better keep an eye on @RubiconRaceTeam, @ConquestRacing, and maybe even @MaxPapis.

THEN AGAIN: Buddy Rice is also listed on a different page of the site. (Thanks to James at 16th and Georgetown for being on top of this.)

One of the chief complaints aired by IndyCar fans in the comments section and message boards across the internet is that there aren't enough American drivers. The point is that an American-based racing series needs accomplished Americans to be successful, which makes sense considering how obsessed we are at kicking the living crap out of anyone who dares to challenge us. Just watch the Olympics. That's America, and it's what we do.

The current IndyCar series has lost some big names in recent years in drivers like Sam Hornish Jr, Scott Sharp, and Buddy Rice, who all scored multiple wins and in a couple cases also emerged victorious in The Greatest Spectacle in Racing. The current leaders in wins in the series are guys from Brazil, New Zealand, and England which means that collectively as a nation WE are the ones getting the living crap kicked out of us.

But that may be about to change.

This weekend we watched as Ryan Hunter-Reay spent about a week getting situated in a new car with a team that had never finished higher than (roughly) 20th place on a road or street course, and not only did he make the podium but he was one Ryan Briscoe mistake away from winning the race. That was, if I may speak for all of us, an extraordinary display of driving.

Which makes me wonder: is Ryan Hunter-Reay the best American driver in the series today? It's difficult to quantify this because he has exactly one win, which is the same as several other American drivers. However, among victorious Americans he's the only driver you can't say had the benefit of doing so with a championship team. (Then again, maybe Vision Racing proves that wrong this year. We'll see.)

Here are a few nominees for "Captain America" of the IndyCar series:

Marco Andretti 1 win, 49 starts, 16 Top 5s, 448 laps led. A couple breaks here and there and he might have won the Indy 500 twice by now.

Ryan Hunter-Reay 1 win, 24 starts, 2 Top 5s, 13 laps led. Oh, he also won a couple races in CART/Champ Car as well.

Danica Patrick 1 win, 65 starts, 11 Top 5s, 84 laps led. Running at finish 53 times shows she can take care of a car as well as anyone.

Graham Rahal 1 win, 16 starts, 1 Top 5, 19 laps led. Youngest race and pole winner in IndyCar history.

So who do you think is the best American driver in the IndyCar series?