Grab your tin foil hat

Do you believe in alien abductions? Do you think black helicopters are following you? Do you subscribe to global control by the Pentaverate?

If you meet any of these criteria then are no doubt going bananas over the consecutive press releases by the IndyCar series today.

PATRICK TOPS OPENING DAY AT TWIN RING MOTEGI

ESPN CHANGES INDYCAR SERIES JAPAN EVENT TELECAST TIME

Officially the four-letter network states that this rescheduling is due to recently determined NBA playoff games (Go Suns!), but I’m sure more than a few people are thinking this is the week Tony George has decided to be The Race. You know, the weekend where everyone is ordered to lift a little and let that certain raven-haired sensation make history by finally capturing her first win.

Not to sound nonsensical to the level-headed, but if you were to actually plan such an occurrence this would be the week. Motegi represents the only ICS race that is tape delayed, so much of America would wake up in the morning and read all about it in the sports page, while being told to tune into the telecast of the historic victory that afternoon. Yeah, that would increase the share of viewers just a tad. Suddenly momentum would build leading up to the Indy 500, which would encounter yet another ratings jump powered by Danica! and her newfound winning ways.

At least that’s the way the IRL would draw it up. Unfortunately reality has a nasty way of wreaking havoc with otherwise planned activities, plus best of luck trying to get the other drivers to go along with this master plan.

But it could happen, and if it does be certain that Oliver Stone will be ready to make the movie.