"We need to blow up IRL...It needs to be (known as) IndyCar. To the purist, (IRL) is a negative acronym. We need to get away from using it... (we need) some sort of press statement to show that (IRL) is dead. We need to let people understand we're trying to change." - IRL and/or IndyCar CEO Randy Bernard on roses, names, and how sweet they don't smell.

On a side note, "My Name Is IndyCar" doesn't have quite the same je ne sais quoi.

By now you've probably heard that yesterday the IZOD IndyCar Series has decided to:
1. Crown separate oval and road/street course champions
2. Name the awards after two historic drivers
3. Do this IMMEDIATELY, as in this year

My first thought was "Oh, hella yeah!" if for no other reason than this finally gives me a reason to stay awake through the entire race at Sonoma. But after sleeping on it (notice how "sleeping" and "Sonoma" are totally correlated) I've decided that, yup, it is still a "Oh, hella yeah!" idea. Bravo, Mr Bernard, on putting forth a good suggestion.

Honestly (and I hate saying that because it infers that everything else I've said has been dishonest, but not enough to actually NOT say it...OK, I'm gonna just focus back here) I don't know why anyone would be against this idea. It's not like it's a total gimmick, because it doesn't actually change the racing at all. The real money is still in the championship, so this doesn't dilute the interest in that award one bit. If anything it strengthens the overall championship because these separate titles now showcase the distinction of IndyCar racing, which is a mastery of different disciplines of racing. And that, dear friends, is what is known as "accentuating the marketing angle"...or, if you're not in favor of the idea, "making up stuff as you go along". I'm in the camp of the former.

And if I may be so bold I'd like to make two quick suggestions regarding this whole idea.

First, these awards absolutely positively must be named after AJ Foyt and Mario Andretti. No slight to any number of incredible drivers named...well, I'm not even going to name them because then it start getting into an argument of who's left off the list. But I've never met an IndyCar fan who wouldn't agree that any discussion regarding the greatest driver who raced IndyCars ever requires those two to be included. They just...are. And even if YOU think they aren't, there names are so ingrained in the psyche of American racing that to ignore either of them as the names for these two awards would be, well, stupid.

Second, let me refer to a remark by BP of Drive Hard, Turn Left, who actually suggested this idea a while back.

Now, while I don't expect Will Power's wings to be polka-dotted so that people recognize him as the top street/road racer in the circuit...

Well, if you won't then I will. If the goal of this whole "championships within a championship" is to accentuate driver skills, then I say let the drivers show that skill. Just as the Tour de France has separate jerseys for stage winners and mountain climbers, the series should allow either the points leader in each respective category or the previous champion to have something signifying the accomplishment. Like a dramatically colored bar on the top of the car or one of the the wings, or a giant picture of Foyt or Andretti, or even a specific sponsor on the sidepod - SOMETHING! Let the casual fans ask "What's that mean?" and get them engaged - that's the point, right? Is anyone less interested in the series because of this? Really?

Final note: IndyCar.com did the research and determined the following would have been champions under this new arrangement.

Year, Oval Champ(points), Road & Street Champ(points)
2009 Scott Dixon (406), Dario Franchitti (270)
2008 Scott Dixon (482), Helio Castroneves (233)
2007 Dario Franchitti (463), Scott Dixon (217)
2006 Dan Wheldon (415), Scott Dixon (125)
2005 Dan Wheldon (536), Tony Kanaan (133)

Does anyone have a problem with these champions? Even if you think this is all about Danica?

"The experience I’m most looking forward to is the Indianapolis 500. I continue to hear what an unbelievable and life-changing type of an event it is. I think that it’s going to be even more exciting this year because we’ll have a minimum of 40 cars trying to qualify, which we haven’t seen in almost 15 years. It shows another wave in momentum as our sport continues to grow." - Indy Racing League CEO Randy Bernard, dropping a big "four-oh" on fans of The Greatest Spectacle In Racing.

UPDATE: It's true: 40 entries, 73 cars total counting the "T"s. Bumpity bump!

Based on totally unscientific feedback gleaned from such reputable samples as blog comments and message board posts, the consensus is that despite issues with the weather and the track surface (or perhaps because of them) the street race in Sao Paolo was pretty high on the entertainment charts. The biggest reason? Sao Paolo featured 95 passes, many of which were not only for the actual lead but were also visible to actual television viewers.

That's right, 95 passes in a street race. An abbreviated one, in fact. No wonder Jack Arute was talking about the possibility of swarms of locusts appearing.

Maybe it was because of the weather issues, or the track configuration which featured long straightaways leading towards abrupt turns, or even the souped-up "push to pass" button which now seems like less of a video-game inspired punchline and more like something that facilitates interesting racing. Whatever the reason it was...man, after years of despising street racing parades even I have to admit that was *gulp* exciting.

...and here come the swarms of locusts...

Now, your humble host is still a vocal supporter of oval-based preferences, and is not suggesting the IRL needs more street racing. But as the league struggles to find new venues it might be that we're going to get more street racing whether we like it or not. To think, just three seasons ago the IndyCar series featured exactly one street race on the schedule with the Honda Grand Prix of St Petersburg, but bimergification has prompted the IRL to add similar events at Sao Paolo, Long Beach, Toronto, and Edmonton to the schedule, and yet another is growing closer.

Baltimore Racing Development LLC envisions sponsoring the Indy Racing League event - including a main race with cars going at speeds up to 200 mph - starting in August 2011 and continuing annually for at least five years.

"It's a world-class event that brings global media exposure to the city and has a huge economic benefit for the city and the citizens of Baltimore," (Ryan O'Doherty, a spokesman for Mayor Stephanie C. Rawlings-Blake) said. He said the city could realize $60 million in economic gains over the five years of the race, as well as hundreds of full-time jobs and millions in city and state tax revenue.

"They very much want this market," (Jay Davidson, chief executive of Baltimore Racing Development) said. "They don't have anything in the Mid-Atlantic."

Note the comment about racing in August, and couple it with this quote from an interview with Randy Bernard in the St Petersburg Times.

I'm not convinced that sanction agreements are always in the best interest of the league and I would like to see possibly co-promotions and I'd like to see possibly the bottom two events dropped every year so that we continue to make sure that we are bringing better value every single year to our fans.

If Tony George brought his hammer to work everyday, the it looks like Randy's bringing his axe. So with regards to August, a quick check of the schedule shows Edmonton (proven money loser) in late July, Mid Ohio (regionally close to perennially-discussed Cleveland) in early August, and Sonoma (chronically poor attendance) in late August as possible candidates for culling. Considering the comments the new CEO made in an extensive interview with Declan Brennan about focusing on the fact this is primarily an American series, Edmonton may be the slight favorite if there is a chopping block derby.

Meanwhile...anyone heard any good rumors about adding any ovals lately?

Interested in a particular chassis design? Got a favorite race track? Have a smashing recipe for Our buddy pressdog has an excellent idea: Tell the new CEO.

Yes, while we're all still twiddling our thumbs waiting for the IZOD IndyCar Series season to start you might as well take a moment to give the new boss a few words of encouragement and/or advice since:

1. He's admittedly never been to an IndyCar race.
2. He's relying on Brian Barnhart to explain the sport to him.
3. Perhaps somewhat related to 1 and 2, he REALLY wants to hear from the fans.

All of that is 100% true. Or so I'm told. At any rate, here is your chance to make a great first impression. Pass on your sage words of wisdom by filling out this here form (yes, I have been assured this will genuinely send an email to the league Inbox)

Or send an actual letter he can hold in his actual hands to:
Andy Randy Bernard
CEO, IZOD IndyCar Series
4790 W 16th Street
Indianapolis, IN 46222

Tell him what you love. Tell him what you want. Tell him how awesome his singing is.

He wants to talk with you. Yes, YOU! Gaze lovingly into his unblinking eyes as he whispers sweet f-words ("fans"!) into your ears.

Cue the white smoke because the bishops at 16th and Georgetown have collectively reached a decision on a new leader. Ladies and gentleman (and any trans-gender types as well in the audience), please welcome the IRL's new CEO...Andy Bernard!



A proud graduate of Cornell University, Bernard represents a curious choice for the IRL. He has a well-known competitive spirit, a strong sales background in the paper industry, as well as a diverse musical acumen...wait, what's that you say? It's NOT Andy Bernard?

Oh, I'm sorry. It's Randy Bernard. Well that's an honest mistake.

The Indy Racing League landed a new chief executive officer Friday when Randy Bernard accepted the position vacated by Tony George.

Bernard, the founder and now former CEO of Professional Bull Riders Inc., will be confirmed next week, industry sources told The Star.

Bernard turns 43 Sunday. He has never attended an IndyCar Series race.

(MORE from the intrepid Curt Cavin/IndyStar)

On a practical level I suppose this hiring makes sense. In the past year I've heard more than one person refer to certain events as "goat rodeos", and if that's what we've got then Bernard's resume makes perfect sense.

But on the other hand, let's examine that last sentence again.

He has never attended an IndyCar Series race.

Ummm, in the immortal words of Gary Coleman, "Whatchu talkin bout, Willis?!?!"

OK, I can see where this is going. Bernard has little if any ties to anyone in the IRL, so he's able to look at the entity through "fresh eyes". He's and "outside the box" pick. A good leader is a good leader no matter what he's leading, right?

Perhaps. But once again:

He has never attended an IndyCar Series race.

It is difficult to fathom handing the reigns of a sport over someone who has never actually attended an IRL event, because this presumably means he has never attended the Indy 500. Here we are, right in the middle of the IMS Centennial celebration, handing the league it features over to someone who has never attended the race upon which this entire series is based. Excuse me while my mind explodes.

*poot*

Now, as I apply a cold compress to what remains of my head, I'll try to see the positives of this. Bernard has successfully built a national presence from a league that started from nothing, so he's got experience working with sports that have far more troubles that .1 TV ratings. And speaking of that, he's got experience working with VERSUS. And since he has no ties to the existing series perhaps he'll be able to make the hard choices in the best interest of the sport without worrying what certain track or team owners desire. That sounds like a good thing, I suppose.

But then again...how is Bernard going to address the current engine badging situation? How is he going resolve the competing designs for the new car design? What will he base future choices of track additions, or for that matter subtractions? How is going to deal with his inevitable public conflict with Robin Miller?

And how much of all that will be affected when he collapses from the sheer awesomeness the first time he stands outside the Pagoda, with balloons in the air and hundreds of thousands of people cheering, and hears "Ladies and gentleman, start your engines!"

*poot* (again)

Is terribly different from hiring Andy Bernard instead? I sincerely hope so, and that my incredulity is just a case of my judgment being clouded from my mind repeatedly exploding. At any rate, welcome and good luck, Randy - God save The 'Nard Dog.

UPDATE: We have some persuasive arguments in favor of this hiring from pressdog and Chris Estrada.