And I am not making this up.
"Patrick downplays sex, just wants to be on top"
Excuse me whilst I pick my jaw up off the floor.
At least there was a good quote from Mrs Hospenthal at the end of the article.
Asked how she would handle a duel for the championship in the final laps, Patrick said: "Say a couple of prayers, put your foot down and hope that the front end sticks."
Meanwhile, Pressdog expounds on the deeper meaning of the headline. Kinda.