Bloggers of the Oval Table

It's a been a while since Pressdog, MoneyCJ and your humble host last got together for a group discussion, but since we all seem to have recovered from the $4 beers at Indy we might as well get all self-indulgent and go for another round of attempting to sound smart.


Anyhow, we got together on June 5th and shot the breeze. Enjoy!


Pressdog: We are three wide!
SoDamnIndy: Beyotches!
MyNameIsIRL: OK - green-green-green!
Pressdog: thanks for that, brother.
MyNameIsIRL: Let's get right to it, then
SoDamnIndy: I have something to say first
SoDamnIndy: may I?
MyNameIsIRL: of course
SoDamnIndy: I just received an e-mail from our old friend, the OPH (That's 'Original Pit Hottie' Jamie Little for you newcomers)
SoDamnIndy: And Jamie declared that she thought pressdog and Uberbacher were 'way cool' at Indy. That is all.
Pressdog: uberbacher?
MyNameIsIRL: A round of applause for the P-dog!
SoDamnIndy: Our boy Karl, Jeff Simmons's guy
Pressdog: me and jamie are tight.
Pressdog: I'm the old guy with a blog to her.
Pressdog: Let's rock. I may be busted in on any time.

MyNameIsIRL: Issue #1: Dan v Danica. Who's right?
MyNameIsIRL: Let's start with the Dog
Pressdog: Wheldon. Danica needs to get a grip on herself and realize she doesn't own the race track. And her tirade after. Sha. She's going to knock her tiara off if she keeps running around like that.
SoDamnIndy: Dan. She acted like an amateur after driving most of the day like a real pro. I was beginning to think she was maturing since joining AGR, but clearly she's not. Repeat after me: Texas Toast.
Pressdog: hahahahha
MyNameIsIRL: Texas Toast - that's funny.
SoDamnIndy: Plus, I take it personally when anyone dicks with my boy Dan
MyNameIsIRL: You could make the argument that either driver could have lifted to avoid the collision, but looking at the replay I was impressed that Dario lifted to let his teammate come down.
Pressdog: Once again, Danica gets acres of slack for "having the fire." Pfft
SoDamnIndy: She really wants to win, p-dog
SoDamnIndy: Like, really really
Pressdog: Honestly, I'd call it 50-50 on the track. Racing deal. No reason to come over to him like he speared her.
MyNameIsIRL: You guys are being rough on her, when she just inadvertently generated additional publicity for the league
SoDamnIndy: speared. heh.
Pressdog: Oh, it was good for the league. Don't get me wrong.
MyNameIsIRL: At least this wasn't a NASCAR shoving match, although I'm worried if there's another incident with these two that TJ Patrick might take a folding chair over Big Chip.
Pressdog: If they would have actually brawled, it would have been better.
SoDamnIndy: Chick fight!
Pressdog: I'd love to see Teej and Big Chip GO.
MyNameIsIRL: Dan isn't going to hit her. At least not with his hands.
MyNameIsIRL: What would have made the confrontation better is if Danica had gone over to Wheldon and handed him a pair of glasses.
Pressdog: He can't. That's the killer part. She can grab him get in his grill and what is he going to do? Smack a 5-foot girl? NOT.
Pressdog: She just really wants to win. Really bad. Extra especially bad.
SoDamnIndy: Totally.
MyNameIsIRL: OK, let's move on.

MyNameIsIRL: Issue #2: Mr Judd. Will Dario be a marquee driver?
SoDamnIndy: He already is.
Pressdog: Sure. He's a right, sexy wee bastard!
SoDamnIndy: Yes!!
SoDamnIndy: You got it in! Yes!!
MyNameIsIRL: Hang on - Dog, isn't Dario taller than you?
Pressdog: We're probably about the same height. Never stood near him. I'm a right sexy wee bastard too! OK, not so wee, but still.
MyNameIsIRL: OK then
MyNameIsIRL: The man just won Indy, has a movie star wife, a groovy brogue - you think the league should start selling him?
Pressdog: I like Dario a lot more this year. He's not bitching out his crew on TV. Less pissy. Seems to be having more fun.
MyNameIsIRL: But you think he's marketable? I mean, he's only won 5 IndyCar races in his career.
SoDamnIndy: Sure he is
MyNameIsIRL: Which is 4 more than Marco and Danica combined
Pressdog: I agree. The whole James Bond vibe.
SoDamnIndy: Danica has won how many races again?
MyNameIsIRL: James Bond isn't Scottish, though. That was Braveheart.
SoDamnIndy: Seriously, I think he's really developing into quite a personality--to p-dog's earlier point.
MyNameIsIRL: Did either of you catch him on Letterman last night?
SoDamnIndy: Just getting more comfortable in his own skin.
Pressdog: It will be tough to get Americans to get frothed about a Scotsman. The prom king and queen are hard to beat. But Dario has kind of an exotic, Jackie Stewart thing going.
Pressdog: Letterman is passed my bedtime.
MyNameIsIRL: mine too, but the technology of recording allows for greater viewing flexibility
SoDamnIndy: Yeah, at that hour, I'm already into the porn.
SoDamnIndy: Jussayin.
Pressdog: I bet Dario has a good sense of humor. Like I said, he's really loosened up this year.
MyNameIsIRL: Alright, moving on to the next issue

MyNameIsIRL: Issue #3: Being at the Brickyard. Any unique observations from Indy?
Pressdog: F*CKIN' RAIN.
MyNameIsIRL: yeah, but the cars looked cool on the victory lap in the downpour
SoDamnIndy: I saw Arni the Insider and toasted Miller Lites with Chris Daughtry.
Pressdog: Marco was driving first and asking questions later.
Pressdog: I was proud to be one of the fans who stuck around for the restart. Lots of people bolted.
MyNameIsIRL: *ahem* I know one person who bolted
SoDamnIndy: I left after the first delay. Was drunk.
Pressdog: Loser.
Pressdog: I enjoyed it. The rain forced some strategy on the fly. My girl Sarah got hosed by some crap in the pits, but still, she drove well.
SoDamnIndy: I saw that. Was sitting right behind her pit. Was awful.
Pressdog: The 12-second pit stops ain't going to win ya nothing.
SoDamnIndy: Oh, and Marco on the scanner = Magic.
Pressdog: lol. random screaming.
MyNameIsIRL: indeed he was
MyNameIsIRL: ABC should offer a Marco audio channel instead of SAP
SoDamnIndy: His engineer was really solid though--was like he was taming a Monkey.
Pressdog: Indy is a strange place. Not such a great place to watch the race since it's so mammoth, but all the other stuff it has going.
Pressdog: you gotta get a scanner if you go to the track. Gotta. Even if it means cutting into the beer budget.
MyNameIsIRL: very true
SoDamnIndy: Dude, beer is cheap at Indy--and the servings are huge!
Pressdog: agreed. i was surprised at the relatively low-cost beer
MyNameIsIRL: I saw the track on Monday - beer cups/cans EVERYWHERE
MyNameIsIRL: cleanup is a cottage industry
Pressdog: 300,000-ish fans tend to leave debris
MyNameIsIRL: Shall we move along?
Pressdog: yep

MyNameIsIRL: Issue #4: Six-Pack. Is this a six-driver series?
MyNameIsIRL: In other words, can anyone else win this year?
SoDamnIndy: I think we'll have some pleasant surprises, for sure (or at least one)
MyNameIsIRL: specifically?
Pressdog: I don't see it happening. AGR has the smaller tracks pretty wired and Target and Penske hand out the bitchslap on the super speedway. Maybe Danica sneaks in for a win at Iowa.
MyNameIsIRL: What about Marco at the Glen or Infineon?
Pressdog: Road races are always a crap shoot too.
SoDamnIndy: Vitor? Schechter? Briscoe?
MyNameIsIRL: Or even Darren Manning?
MyNameIsIRL: Briscoe ain't driving IndyCars
Pressdog: Sheckter has impressed. But P5 is one thing, P1 is another.
MyNameIsIRL: Vitor....maybe Michigan?
SoDamnIndy: Just making sure you were paying attention
Pressdog: I don't think Vitor wins this year. His pit crew is rocking, though. He gets about five spots on every pit stop.
Pressdog: I guess it's good news that AGR seems to have some life this year to bust up the Red Teams.
SoDamnIndy: Don't laugh, but I think our boy Jeff Simmons will at least get a podium if not a win.
Pressdog: Simmons has been driving well. Him and Lookin' Sharp both.
MyNameIsIRL: Umm...what makes you say that?
SoDamnIndy: Just what p-dog said...he's been driving very well
Pressdog: Everyone else is pretty much shooting for bronze at this point. Every non Big Three driver.
MyNameIsIRL: RLR is improved the last few races, but they haven't gotten a Top 5 yet, let alone a podium.
SoDamnIndy: You wanna bet Jeffy gets a podium this year?
MyNameIsIRL: No offense to Simmons, but I would take that bet in a heartbeat.
SoDamnIndy: You're on then.
Pressdog: I already lost two gallons of ethanol to Jeff, so I'm done betting.
MyNameIsIRL: to be fair, you weren't betting on Simmons
Pressdog: true.
SoDamnIndy: OK, OK...

MyNameIsIRL: Issue #5: Championship Watch. Who's da man?
MyNameIsIRL: Who is your pick to win it from here?
SoDamnIndy: Wheldon, of course. Phaw.
Pressdog: Wheldon. I think he's pissed from Indy and the dust up at Milwaukee.
Pressdog: Not sure you want to piss Wheldon off going into a Super Speedway.
MyNameIsIRL: Really? You don't think he's going to get killed on the road courses?
Pressdog: Good point. he's been crappy on street/road courses.
SoDamnIndy: Yes, Jeff, the roads are an issue, but Dixon ain't gonna win all of them...
SoDamnIndy: And I think that would have to happen, no?
Pressdog: Icy will get a win on the road courses, Wheldon hands out the Bitchslap on the Speedways. He'll be driving enraged at Texas.
SoDamnIndy: He's always best when he's pissed off about something.
Pressdog: AGREED!
MyNameIsIRL: No - Tony and Helio and Dario are also better than Wheldon on the roads
MyNameIsIRL: A lot of drivers are, and they've got four more of those
Pressdog: I like Wheldon to win it, but I don't think it's a lock by any means.
SoDamnIndy: I'm totally serious! Others have trouble under those circumstances...but it seems to fuel Dan. Reason #654 why he's awesome.
MyNameIsIRL: So Dan really really wants to win?
SoDamnIndy: Only when he's pissed.
Pressdog: He totally smacked everyone at KS. Opened cans of whoopass with his teeth.
Pressdog: He doesn't just WANT to win ...
MyNameIsIRL: He's looked rather mortal the last few races
SoDamnIndy: Wasn't pissed enough.
MyNameIsIRL: I'm sticking with Helio as my pick, but Kanaan has looked the better driver thusfar
Pressdog: I don't know what happened at Indy. That's strange. He wasn't Wheldon-like.
SoDamnIndy: Correct.
Pressdog: I wouldn't be even slightly pissed to see Kanaan win it.
MyNameIsIRL: Everyone had a month to practice - that's what happened
SoDamnIndy: He got bored and lost his stride.
Pressdog: Wheldon needs to kick another girlfriend out or something.
MyNameIsIRL: good one, Dog

MyNameIsIRL: Issue #6: Bold Predictions
MyNameIsIRL: Money has already said Simmons scores a podium
Pressdog: Danica wins one. As much as it PAINS my ASS to say it. I think she has a shot at Iowa, my home track. She'll win there and just flip me off on the cool down lap.
Pressdog: My kids will be sitting right there and I'll be F-bombing and throwing beer at the track.
Pressdog: Danica gets out of her car after winning and says, "F*CK YOU, PRESSDOG!" into the PA.
SoDamnIndy: Um, Marco finishes a race?
MyNameIsIRL: That's crazy talk
Pressdog: Finish an oval. That would be major. Lucky he has lots of sponsors and Dad runs the show.
SoDamnIndy: I love Marco. I hope he finds some success in the second half here...
MyNameIsIRL: I'll say Danica wins, but I'm gonna go with Michigan...only because the Dog took Iowa.
Pressdog: I hope my girl Sarah can show something this year. Maybe Richmond where she drives well. She needs to start finishing on the lead lap. Getting a little concerned for her.
MyNameIsIRL: At least Sarah hasn't wrecked
Pressdog: Yeah, give her that. She had this rep as someone who crashes, but she hasn't had a DNF forever.
MyNameIsIRL: Unlike her teammate
Pressdog: So, what if Danica DOESN'T win this year?
MyNameIsIRL: Nothing. Seriously.
SoDamnIndy: No real fallout. She has clearly improved as a driver.
Pressdog: yeah, she's got the ride for life.
MyNameIsIRL: She'll still have major sponsorship, and she'll still have a good car next year.
Pressdog: My issue with Danica: She woke up on third thinking she hit a triple.
SoDamnIndy: There's no chance she won’t at least get a few solid finishes
Pressdog: Every driver is super lucky to even have any ride. It would be nice if she showed that she understands that.
MyNameIsIRL: You really are bitter
Pressdog: A little humility is all I ask for. From all drivers, not just her. I'm not bitter. She's always had the best equipment.
SoDamnIndy: Wow, dog!
Pressdog: I'd love to have her toil on some back marker team that collects redeemable cans for gas money. Makes you a little more humble.
SoDamnIndy: That's basically how she characterized RLR on her way out the door. Heh.
MyNameIsIRL: Well, how is she less humble than other drivers? I mean, she's over-exposed, but she isn't the only one walking around with a high opinion of herself.
MyNameIsIRL: Vitor Meira - probably more humble. But is she less humble than say Tomas Scheckter?
Pressdog: They all have egos. Perfect example: She refused to pose for photos with Sarah and Milka at Indy. Everyone wanted the Three Women shot and she wouldn't do it. That kind of stuff is lame, I think.
SoDamnIndy: Is that so, p-dog?
Pressdog: Oh yeah. I read it in an Oreo article or something.
Pressdog: The photo with Billy Jean King and the other two was it.
SoDamnIndy: Dang.
MyNameIsIRL: That's lame, sure, but I think that's more an issue of her posing with competitors. Maybe she just wants to beat these people and not hang out with them.
SoDamnIndy: She wouldn't even do it for historical purposes...?
Pressdog: Does it kill ya to help out the marketing by standing next to a fellow competitor? Don't have to hang out with them to get your photo taken with them. Don't have to even like them to realize the significance of the moment.
MyNameIsIRL: Point taken.
SoDamnIndy: I agree with that last statement.
Pressdog: I'm sure it bugs her a lot that I'm not on fire about her.
SoDamnIndy: Makes her MENTAL, my friend.
MyNameIsIRL: She really really wants to win for you, Dog
Pressdog: She wants to win at Iowa to stick it in my face.
Pressdog: Pretty sure Danica has no idea what a pressdog is.
MyNameIsIRL: you never know

MyNameIsIRL: Final Issue: Money's new blog!
Pressdog: Yeah, Props, man. You're a playah!
MyNameIsIRL: what's the scoop?
SoDamnIndy: Yes, welcome Fastmachines readers!
MyNameIsIRL: what should we expect?
Pressdog: you just blogging at will on that or got some schedule or what
SoDamnIndy: Well I get to blog on a great site run by great people, and I dont have to be responsible for every facet...
Pressdog: Nice. your first post was killer. off to a great start.
SoDamnIndy: When I feel like I have something to say. Or when I am buzzed.
Pressdog: Pretty much every day then.
SoDamnIndy: Thanks--still getting back into the groove....
SoDamnIndy: Pretty much, yeah!
MyNameIsIRL: will this still be "pure and unfettered awesomeness" or will there be some fettering?
Pressdog: no fettering!
SoDamnIndy: They have given me total free rein
Pressdog: They'll kick your ass out if you go over the line.
Pressdog: Fab to have your uniqueness back in the blogosphere.
SoDamnIndy: We'll see--so far they've been unbelievably awesome to work with--yo Josh!
SoDamnIndy: Nice to be back. Glad we're three-wide again.
Pressdog: I hear Josh is a total pimp!
SoDamnIndy: Everyone I've dealt w over there is.
MyNameIsIRL: we are definitely excited to have you back.
MyNameIsIRL: I look forward to linking you all the time
Pressdog: anything else? Anyway I can make you think I hate Danica again?
Pressdog: Note to Danica: Let's hang out!
MyNameIsIRL: you're killing me