Knights of the Oval Table

Posted by Iannucci | 9/15/2007 | 4 comments »
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It's Silly Season, and although we don't discuss Silly Season terribly much we're definitely in a silly mood. Might be that we're still all delirious from the Chicagoland madness.

Beware: Money is REALLY mad at Jack Arute.

pressdog: Anyone seen any blogger punks around here?
MyNameIsIRL: haha - good morning, 'dog
pressdog: Word, homey. How's sunny AZ?
MyNameIsIRL: Always sunny, always hot.
MyNameIsIRL: How about Iowa? Still dodging tornadoes?
pressdog: Killer day here in West Des Moines, Iowa. Fall is definitely starting up. It was 47 when I woke up this morning, probably get to 70 today.
pressdog: I'm at a Caribou Coffee place right now. Don't hate me because I'm mobile.
MoneyCJ: Heyooooooo!
pressdog: Money!
MoneyCJ: YES
MyNameIsIRL: Hey hey!
MoneyCJ: So is this the Season Finale or what?
MoneyCJ: Who's gonna get killed?
MyNameIsIRL: Let's fire this up
pressdog: Candle lighting
MyNameIsIRL: go for it
MyNameIsIRL: ok then

MyNameIsIRL: Issue #1: Lasting thoughts from the finale
MoneyCJ: one sec
pressdog: Money has to pee AGAIN.
MyNameIsIRL: Dog, you were in the house
pressdog: I was in the hizzouse. IT was A W E S O M E.
MyNameIsIRL: How was the vibe with the crowd? Everyone standing at the end there?
pressdog: OMG yes. Last lap, most people in my section were standing up.
MyNameIsIRL: Money, you there?
MoneyCJ: Yep yep
MoneyCJ: I only caught the last 6 laps
MyNameIsIRL: You were...getting a tattoo?
MoneyCJ: haha--on Sunday, yes
pressdog: WTF?
pressdog: During the race?
MyNameIsIRL: During the LAST race?
MoneyCJ: Yeah
MoneyCJ: I was mad because my internet connection was down
MyNameIsIRL: Was your cable out?
MoneyCJ: Was. So. Pissed.
pressdog: effing internet connections.
pressdog: It was KILLER, dudes. You gotta go to Chicagoland next year.
MoneyCJ: I was all pumped to LiveBlog--AND I had a special celebrity blogger ready to join
MoneyCJ: Was gonna be me and Jeff Simmons
MoneyCJ: Karl had it all hooked
MoneyCJ: Next year.
pressdog: son of a bitch!
MoneyCJ: I know
MyNameIsIRL: That would have been quite the special
MoneyCJ: Anyway, Dixon was robbed (make way for the hatemail!!)
MoneyCJ: Well, not robbed, per se...But Dario got lucky again. Jussayin
pressdog: He had it, fo sho, and ran out of ethyl alcohol. I said (OK, yelled) many unprintables in the stands.
pressdog: At least Dario is a class act. It wasn't like some punk won that way.
MoneyCJ: I have gotten some serious hate mail over this.
MoneyCJ: 2 AGR fans actually de-friended me on MySpace! Canubelieeedat?
MyNameIsIRL: It happens
MoneyCJ: Yes. I love Dario. I just think Dixon was the superior driver
MoneyCJ: Doesn't mean I think Dario sucks, people!!!
pressdog: Give Dario's team props for realizing it was a fuel race. When he dropped back to P6 round about 150, that saved him. Won it for him, IMO.
MoneyCJ: Hezz yeah
MyNameIsIRL: Did either of you think Wheldon did enough to help Dixon?
MyNameIsIRL: Do you think this talk that the team was less than pleased with Dan has any merit?
MoneyCJ: I don't buy this Wheldon shit-talk that's going around
pressdog: Yeah. I was watching, and he was pushing him, etc. I think he got around to tow him late, but the team said it was a radio issue.
MoneyCJ: What did they want from him? Unsportsmanlike behavior? Bah.
pressdog: He ran himself dry for the guy, not sure what else he could do.
MoneyCJ: Right--anything more would have been hackery IMO
MoneyCJ: leave Dan alone. He's got enough problems.
pressdog: If he was being a prick, he would have stayed behind Dixon and refused to lead.
MyNameIsIRL: I totally agree. I think he did what he could.
pressdog: I WAS THERE, OK. I am the authority. Har.
MoneyCJ: I wonder what's wrong with my man Dan...gotta have something to do w a chick.
MoneyCJ: or Shoes
MyNameIsIRL: OK then
pressdog: Dan ran a great race at Chicagoland. The old Dan. He just gave it up for Icy.
MyNameIsIRL: Speaking of giving up....

MyNameIsIRL: Issue #2: IHJ is MIA
pressdog: Very unimpressive season for IHJ.
pressdog: It's like a zebra in basketball or football that makes NO calls, pretty soon the game gets away from him, and then he's screwed.
pressdog: In the last race, the title contenders could have been lobbing bowling balls at each other and he wouldn't have done jack about it.
MoneyCJ: Again--much ado about nothing
MoneyCJ: The Root started the festivities a little too soon
MoneyCJ: that's all. Maybe next time let's make sure the Chief Steward is on hand before awarding the trophy
MoneyCJ: Jack.
MyNameIsIRL: That's not Jack's call, Money
MoneyCJ: Who the fuck chose Jack as bequeather of championship trophy, anyway??
MyNameIsIRL: Money, ESPN is screaming in his ear they're switching the boradcast in a few minutes
MyNameIsIRL: He's just there to cover it
pressdog: Jack by default.
MoneyCJ: It's IndyCar's show...not ESPN's
MoneyCJ: Barnhart will get there when he is Good and Ready, bitches.
MyNameIsIRL: Then it won't be televised, Money
MyNameIsIRL: ESPN made the call
MoneyCJ: Apologists
pressdog: I thought the whole thing was screwy. Have Dario sit in turn 3 with the safety crew while they set up the stage. Maybe let him pull onto pit lane to celebrate with his crew while they set up the stage.
pressdog: Like having Mike Jordan stand at half court alone after winning the championship until the commissioner gets there. WTF
MoneyCJ: Wasnt as odd as last year though, when you had one guy winning the race, and another guy winning the championship!
MyNameIsIRL: There was a logistical FUBAR somewhere with the whole setup this year. The stage wasn't ready, the IHJ was not present.
pressdog: agreed
MyNameIsIRL: That is BARNHART'S responsibility
MoneyCJ: Easy, chief
MyNameIsIRL: It's part of his job description - sad to say
pressdog: no need for all caps
pressdog: BITCHES
MoneyCJ: Especially when invoking the name of the IHJ
MyNameIsIRL: He needs to have one of his minions solidify the plan
MoneyCJ: you got a death wish?
pressdog: Again, I think the IHJ has some splainin' to do after this season.
MyNameIsIRL: Look - I know the guy wears many hats, but that's his problem not mine. Take a little of that extra prize money and hire some more personnel.
MoneyCJ: Fair point.
MoneyCJ: I think the season was so silly....some things just got away from him
pressdog: His double and triple secret probation stuff.
MoneyCJ: know what I mean?
MyNameIsIRL: Did you say Silly season...
MoneyCJ: nice, eh?

MyNameIsIRL: Issue #3: Drivers cashing in (Will you cheer for them if they race at Indy?)
pressdog: We're not going to use the N-word are we?
MyNameIsIRL: haha
MyNameIsIRL: Sam is going to try to qualify today
MoneyCJ: Only if it rains!
MoneyCJ: ba dum bum...
MyNameIsIRL: Dario is still weighing his options with his accountant
pressdog: If drivers want to bolt to The Other Series, then ... go with God. Good for them. Get. Don't let the screen door hit you in the ass. Makes room for stars in the IRL.
pressdog: I'm soooooo not frothed up about it. Seriously. It will be fun to see new people in those cars, what they can do, etc.
MyNameIsIRL: Amen to that
pressdog: When Sarah gets that Penske Ride, you will all be kissing my butt.
MyNameIsIRL: Have you seen these stories on the wires about "will the last IndyCar driver who leaves please turn out the light"?
MyNameIsIRL: Give me a break
MyNameIsIRL: Two guys - granted the last two champions - but just two are potentially leaving
MyNameIsIRL: No one left for the "N-word" last year. Or the year before.
pressdog: yeah, bullshit. The sad part was The Other Series totally overshadowed the big show at Chicagoland.
pressdog: Even if Danistar left, so? Many others out there. Slap Leilani in the car if you need a League Hotty.
MyNameIsIRL: I would never slap Leilani
MoneyCJ: mmmmm
pressdog: Maybe it depends on ... never mind.
MyNameIsIRL: Money? Are you worried of a mass exodus?
MoneyCJ: No
MyNameIsIRL: how loquacious of you
pressdog: I don't see Dixon or Kanaan wanting to go to NASCAR. That's kooky talk. Or Helio. Or Dan, although he'd do it for the cash.
MoneyCJ: Losing Dario and Sam? No woman, no cry...know what I mean?
pressdog: SHIT, I said the N-word. DAMN.
pressdog: Ban me.
MyNameIsIRL: OK, you're off my friends list
MoneyCJ: As long as my man Dan stays, I'm good.
MoneyCJ: Dan cannot be a small fish in a big pond.
MoneyCJ: Hence, he will never go to NASCAR
pressdog: Dan's a bidness man. He's angling. He's getting ready for the next round of negotiations. And stop saying the N-word.
MyNameIsIRL: Everyone's dropping N-bombs all over the place
pressdog: I know, I started it. I SUCK.
MoneyCJ: Dan will win another Indy 500 and then go to F1
MyNameIsIRL: Uh, no
MoneyCJ: And that's all you need to know.
MyNameIsIRL: Dan isn't going to Formula One
MoneyCJ: He can be a Rock Star in F1. Not so much in NASCAR
MyNameIsIRL: That would shock me
pressdog: F1 don't want you unless you're 17 years old. He's too old for F1.
MoneyCJ: Dude, he's Dan Wheldon.
MoneyCJ: He's like Beckham
pressdog: I really dig Dan in his quirky way. He's a personality, which the league needs more of.
MyNameIsIRL: Maybe I'm confused
MyNameIsIRL: Is "F1" some sort of club in DC?
MoneyCJ: hahaha!!
pressdog: He whipped by me on his scooter and said hi in a very warm way. I think he's digging the dog.
MoneyCJ: He needs some tattoos
MoneyCJ: He should come hang with me at Jinx Proof in Georgetown (REPRESENT!!)
pressdog: I was going to get a big 5 tattooed on my back, but now I think Sarah is jumping that ship, so ... bullet dodged.
MyNameIsIRL: My scooter experience with Dan was decidedly different
MoneyCJ: Yeah--he glared at you or what?
MyNameIsIRL: Oh yeah, like evil Dan
MoneyCJ: Tell us
pressdog: No, he smiled and said "Hi. How's it going?" Big smile.
MoneyCJ: Hah!
MyNameIsIRL: Everyone loves the P-dog
pressdog: There was recognition there. He was on his way to drive a race or some lame excuse for not stopping.
pressdog: The Target Twins have Chicagoland wired. Always fast there.
MyNameIsIRL: And speaking of Target Twins and Chip Ganassi...

MyNameIsIRL: Issue #4: Teams cashing in (How do you feel about Penske and Ganassi taking two guys from the IndyCar series?)
MyNameIsIRL: Should we be mad at Chip and Roger for taking these guys away?
MoneyCJ: No
MoneyCJ: Bidness is Bidness
MoneyCJ: Sam's boring.
MoneyCJ: Dario will be back
MyNameIsIRL: If Dario gets a five-year deal he won't
pressdog: Again, free country. I think the IRL has advantages over The Other Series. If drivers want to go there and there are openings and Chippy/Roger feel they will work, that's free enterprise, baby.
MoneyCJ: He won't sign a 5 year deal
MyNameIsIRL: Did you see his non-commital answer when I asked him about Indy?
MyNameIsIRL: I mean, he can choose whatever ride he wants in whatever league. If he wants to come back it's his choice.
pressdog: I'd never want to drive in The Other Series since it's too many races, not exciting racing, I could go on.
pressdog: It's not just about money for some people.
MoneyCJ: I don't think it's about money for Dario
MoneyCJ: not at all
MyNameIsIRL: But at the same time, why would Chip be waving crazy mad jack to take Dario out of the series?
pressdog: Because Chip thinks it will make him money in the long term.
MyNameIsIRL: I completely think it's about the Money with Dario
MoneyCJ: Really?
MyNameIsIRL: Why else would he sign one-year deals?
pressdog: I read that Dario looks at cash as a sign of respect from the owner.
MyNameIsIRL: Exactly. Nothing wrong with that, but Dario keeps his options open to get paid
pressdog: I also think it's Dario wanting a new mountain to climb.
MoneyCJ: I agree with that, dog
pressdog: And if he takes Ashley with him, where's the down side?
MoneyCJ: well of course he should get paid what he's worth...
MyNameIsIRL: I'm gonna miss Ashley. She's highly entertaining.
pressdog: I love it when Ashley talks racing. "We had a terrible car today, it was only P3 most of the day. That TOTALLLY sucks."
pressdog: He's a right-sexy wee bastard, don't forget, and that has marketing value.
MoneyCJ: but I dont think that's what motivates him at the end of the day
MoneyCJ: I think he wants to break records
MyNameIsIRL: settle down, Braveheart
MoneyCJ: sigh
MoneyCJ: You'd never know I quit drinking, would you?
MoneyCJ: heh
MyNameIsIRL: Oh, we can tell
pressdog: The clear-headed Money is EVEN MORE POWERFUL.
MoneyCJ: Nice
MoneyCJ: I highly recommend sobriety and not smoking....that's for the kids out there
pressdog: Proud of ya for staying on the wagon, chief. Huge ups.
MoneyCJ: It's wonderful
MyNameIsIRL: It can't be easy
MoneyCJ: I'm good.
pressdog: I'm wiping a manly tear right now.
MoneyCJ: I also got rid of a...uh ....'distraction'...
MoneyCJ: So I'm solid.
pressdog: Oh shit. Very wheldon-ish.
MyNameIsIRL: Does Jamie Little know about this?
MoneyCJ: I think J'Lil' has moved way beyond Money, unf
MoneyCJ: *sniff*
MyNameIsIRL: Well then, that brings us to...

MyNameIsIRL: Issue #5: Off season plans
MyNameIsIRL: What can we expect from you Money?
MoneyCJ: Well, Andy and I will be working with his little brother on the shifter carts....
MoneyCJ: oh...sorry
MyNameIsIRL: *slapping forehead*
MoneyCJ: um...not sure yet!
MoneyCJ: Gonna write a little
MoneyCJ: keep Josh happy
MyNameIsIRL: Are you going to start racin' now?
MoneyCJ: Well, it depends on if I get that ride. Till then Im gonna spot for Quattro....
MoneyCJ: Oops again!
MoneyCJ: SOrry--
MyNameIsIRL: Ahem. Pressdog, save us.
MoneyCJ: hahaha
pressdog: dudes, sorry, a former boss of mine just popped by my table.
MyNameIsIRL: What are your plans?
pressdog: I'm at a coffee place right now. Don't hate me for my mobility.
pressdog: I'm going to keep posting. Not as often. But the silly season is RIFE with humor opportunities.
MyNameIsIRL: Have you heard any good rumors lately?
MyNameIsIRL: Either of you?
pressdog: Me? Rumors?
MoneyCJ: I'm going to be spending some time with Britney and the two boys. They really need me right now.
MoneyCJ: oh
MoneyCJ: rumors...
pressdog: I think Sarah Fisher stays in the league but goes to another team.
MoneyCJ: Who would sign her?
MyNameIsIRL: Vision, perhaps?
MoneyCJ: Wha?
MoneyCJ: Ya think?
MyNameIsIRL: Word is she will still have the AAMCO sponsorship
MyNameIsIRL: That will get you hired somewhere
pressdog: Could be. I think Scheckter ends up at AGR. Maybe Vitor at Penske. Just talking out of my ass.
MoneyCJ: ohhhhh
MyNameIsIRL: Penske likes Brazilians, but I think that's Briscoe's ride
pressdog: I think Sarah takes her AAMCO sponsorship on the road to another team.
MoneyCJ: RLR?
pressdog: I think that's for the best, actually. She needs to get to another team and let DRR move on. She moves on. Everyone is still tight.
MoneyCJ: Scheckter is a moron
MyNameIsIRL: Money a Scheckter hater?
pressdog: I like Vision. I think RLR is set with The Immortal and RHR.
pressdog: RLR came on big time at the end of the season. Huge props to them. Closed it out as the top Non Big Three team.
pressdog: DRR may be one car next year with Rice. Not sure. Team is in flux, I think.
MoneyCJ: Ya know who would be good for D&R?
MoneyCJ: Jeff SImmons.
MyNameIsIRL: How so?
MoneyCJ: Well...
MoneyCJ: I think he can bring some cash. Which they obv need...
pressdog: He's tight with Money, for one thing.
MoneyCJ: and I think he can be very cometitive. Also something they need
pressdog: Drivers aren't the problem at DRR.
MyNameIsIRL: Rice and Fisher can drive fine. Just ask their competitors.
MoneyCJ: Of course. We saw Buddy up front a few times this season
MoneyCJ: Jeff's very technical....I think that would lend itself well also
pressdog: Something is up with DRR. I think they'll have a big Come to Jesus over the off season and make some moves.
MyNameIsIRL: They tried going to two cars and it seemed like the team went backwards most of the season
MyNameIsIRL: Very unusual
pressdog: Love everyone on the team. The garage guys are killer. Robbie "Incredi" Buhl is great. I hope they get it sorted.
MoneyCJ: True that
pressdog: two cars with money for 1.5.
MoneyCJ: a lotta heart there
pressdog: Give them props for sticking in there and putting one or two on the grid. Big ups for that. Tony should be sending them flowers and candy at regular intervals.
pressdog: And having Sarah in the field is good for the league. I don't know of anyone who argues that.
MoneyCJ: No argument here
MyNameIsIRL: She's still quite popular
MyNameIsIRL: You guys think RHR stays in the Ethanol car? Did he do enough?
MoneyCJ: I really wonder.
pressdog: oh yeah. they dig him. he's in for next year.
MoneyCJ: You know this?
pressdog: He came in and and hand immediate impact. I know nothing. I'm just going by all the love in the room when I hung with the ethanol people.
MoneyCJ: huh.
pressdog: He was working it with the sponsor groups. All smiles. Interacting. Doing what drivers shoudl do.
MyNameIsIRL: Did he have a scooter at Chicagoland or was he still on a bicycle?
pressdog: On foot that I saw. Scooter budget is the first to get chopped, I guess.
MyNameIsIRL: This is key. Gotta look professional.
pressdog: Sharp rolls around in this Pimped Out Patron four-wheeler. It's bad ass. I'll get a photo when I scare up enough money for a camera.
MoneyCJ: Nice!
MyNameIsIRL: He's too old for that two-wheel madness
pressdog: Patron is loving the league. Very happy with their return on investment, so I'm told.
MoneyCJ: I love the way Patron pimps out
MoneyCJ: Club Patron, Four Wheelers, etc
pressdog: They show up with a couple of cases of Patron everywhere.
MoneyCJ: oh man
MyNameIsIRL: be strong, Money
pressdog: Sorry. The point is they are in on everything. Donating product to giveaways, etc.
pressdog: RLR pr guy tells me they are joining right into the IRL family, so to speak. Everyone seems love love love about it.

MyNameIsIRL: Alrighty guys, White flag. Any final thoughts?
pressdog: I just get the sense that all the big sponsors are happy with the results this year. Which is good.
MoneyCJ: Good season.
MoneyCJ: '08 should be phenom
pressdog: I think money gets us by half a car based on his kicking the habits.
MoneyCJ: Now onto trying to mend fences with angry AGR fans.
pressdog: I'm GEEKED for 2008. Seriously. It will be fun to see how Silly Season plays out. I think my girl Sarah is safe so I'll be enjoying the off season drafting and maneuvering.
pressdog: Couple of Champ Car races left this year. Tune in. Nothing like a great Street Race.
MoneyCJ: Totally!
pressdog: Money digs them, I know.
MyNameIsIRL: I thought they cancelled the races?
pressdog: Not the last two, so far. Australia and Mexico.
MoneyCJ: Actually, I loved Belle Isle
MoneyCJ: And I was totally skeptical of that event
MoneyCJ: I was wrong, Roger was right. Lesson learned
pressdog: I have to give it to Roger. He did it. I was also surprised/impressed with it.
MoneyCJ: Was one fo the highlights.
MyNameIsIRL: It was a good show, and the circuit looked gorgeous
pressdog: Quick, fav race this year?
MoneyCJ: Besides Indy
MyNameIsIRL: I gotta say that last one
MyNameIsIRL: Unlike last year, Chicagoland lived up to the hype
pressdog: Chicagoland! For sure.
MoneyCJ: Michigan.
MyNameIsIRL: Michigan and Texas were smothered in madness
MyNameIsIRL: Carnage everywhere
pressdog: If you're going for the Festival of Carbon Fiber award, don't forget Iowa.
MoneyCJ: Iowa was quite kickass--
pressdog: A street race on an oval.
MyNameIsIRL: Iowa may need more testing
pressdog: It can't be 68 degrees in June in Iowa.
pressdog: That was freakish.
MyNameIsIRL: Yes - get to work on that
MoneyCJ: Drop the flag.
MyNameIsIRL: Get Rusty to install heating elements in the track
pressdog: I'm on the line to GOD. He's assured me that it will be 90 and humid next year, and I will leave for the track at 6 a.m.
MoneyCJ: I gotta pee
MyNameIsIRL: Checkered flag cuz we've run out of time
pressdog: Enjoyed it, boys.
pressdog: GO SARAH!
MoneyCJ: yeah, yeah
MoneyCJ: GO AGR!!
pressdog: lol
MyNameIsIRL: keep in touch during the down time, gentlemen
MoneyCJ: will do
MyNameIsIRL: later. thx again.
MoneyCJ: Peace.
pressdog: zanardis


  1. Anonymous // September 16, 2007 1:28 AM  

    I thought Dixon sounded like a prick when he started in about Dan not doing enough. Kind of lost a lot of respect for Dixon then. How many times did Dan have to say "I'll do everything in my power to help Scott win the Championship" before it sank in. Dan may be selfish when it comes to him winning, but he's never been a bad teammate.

    Dan will bounce back from this season, one thing he's always been good at is turning a bad thing into a good thing. I'm kind of hoping he does end up at Penske or AGR. I think Dan just started with the Napcar Tank of Tomorrow series talk to get like Sam, Dario ,and other drivers looking to go there. To open up those seats so he'd have a good choice of seats if he wanted. Dan's that good. ;)

    I just can't see him in Nascar, it'd be too slow, too boring, too un-Wheldon.

  2. pressdog // September 16, 2007 7:24 AM  

    Tank of Tomorrow! LOL. Dan is High Maintenance. Probably dropping the N-word just to get some attention. It will all come out in the wash. Talk means zip right now.

  3. Anonymous // September 17, 2007 4:15 AM  

    Hey Bash!

    I shut it down because I was getting too many emails, etc and it became a bit of a distraction. I can barely find the time to post on Fastmachines as it is, much less keep up w a MS account!

    Rest assured, you remain a 'top friend' in my heart :)...dont be a stranger!

  4. Anonymous // September 17, 2007 7:41 AM  

    aha! so that's why my friend count went down. =)

    i thought someone didn't like me. heh heh