The Battle of Nashville

Posted by Iannucci | 11/20/2007 | 7 comments »
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The CCWS is firing a shot across the bow of the IRL.

In an attempt to show they can put on a show with even LESS passing than the IRL's snoozefest at the nearby single-groove oval, Champ Car has determined they should host a street race in Nashville.

Champ Car World Series, an open-wheel racing organization, has sent a letter of interest to Nashville racing officials indicating its desire to bring a road-course race to the city starting in 2009.

Norm Partin, the general manager of the Music City Motorplex, confirmed the city's receipt of the letter. The proposed race would start and finish near LP Field and cover a route that includes crossing the Gateway Bridge before looping back toward the stadium.

Partin said the city would be required to pay a sanctioning fee of about $2 million to Champ, but in turn the race would generate a direct impact of an estimated $30 million for the city. He also said the race would be an annual event and likely held in May as a week-long festival to also include golf tournaments, concerts and perhaps a celebrity race.

(MORE fromt he Tennessean)
$30 Meeeelion? Pffft. They actually have to HAVE the race first. I mean, why not say $100 Meeellion? It's just words.

Nevertheless I'm gonna drop a quarter in the jukebox and fire up one of my favorite songs ever to come out of Nashville. This little ditty from David Frizzell makes me think of what Kevin Kalkhoven and his buddies would need to do to host their "race".

I came crawling home last night, like many nights before:
I finally made it to my feet as she opened up the door.
And she said, "You're not gonna do this anymore."

She said: "I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home,
"So you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't have to roam.
"We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall.
"And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall."

She said: "Just bring your Friday paycheck, and I'll cash them all right here.
"And I'll keep on tap - for all your friends, their favorite kinds of beer.
"And for you, I'll always keep in stock, those soft aluminum cans.
"And when you're feeling macho, you can crush them like a man."

She said: "We'll rip out all the carpet, and put sawdust on the floor.
"Serve hard boiled eggs and pretzels, and I won't cook no more.
"There'll be Monday night football, on T.V. above the bar.
"And a pay phone in the hallway, when your friends can't find their car."

She said: "I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home,
"So you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't have to roam.
"We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall.
"And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall."

She said: "You'll get friendly service, and for added atmosphere.
"I'll slip on something sexy, and I'll cut it clear to here.
"Then you can slap my bottom, every time you tell a joke.
"Just as long as you keep tipping, well, I'll laugh until you're broke."

She said: "Instead of family quarrels, we'll have a bar-room brawl,
"When the Ham's bear say's its closing time, you won't have far to crawl.
"And when you run out of money, you'll have me to thank.
"You can sleep it off next morning, when I'm putting it in the bank."

She said: "I'm gonna' hire a wino, to decorate our home,
"So you can feel more at ease here, and you won't have to roam.
"When you and your friends get off from work, and have a powerful thirst.
"There won't be any reason, why you can't stop off here first."

She said: "I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home,
"So you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't have to roam.
"We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall.
"And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall."

7 comments

  1. pressdog // November 20, 2007 8:46 AM  

    A street race would likely be more exciting than the one-groove wonder at Napville. A festival of snoring.

  2. john clerk // November 20, 2007 9:24 AM  

    Salt Walther's car chase in Ohio was more exciting than the "one-grove wonder."

  3. Johnny // November 20, 2007 10:01 AM  

    I swear if they use a single tax payer's dime on this absolute and complete boondoggle (just ask Phoenix) I will be camping out at the Statehouse.

  4. mmack // November 20, 2007 10:10 AM  

    A Champ Car street race in Nashville?

    Brilliant! Whatever The Three Stooges who run what's left of CART\OWRS\CCWS\And you thought the SCCA was screwed up! are smoking, I'll take a kilo. No, make that two, I'd like mrs. mmack to have a mind altering experience as well.

    So, let's take a series with one established name driver (Paul Tracy), one recognizable second gen driver (Graham Rahal), and fifteen other foreign born ride buyers who change from week to week based on whether the check clears and run a "Three Day Festival of Speed" in the middle of NA$CAR (or for Pressdog, N-word) country. Yep, that's a Sure Fire (Las Vegas), Can't Miss (Denver) Winner of an idea! I can't see a downside (San Jose) to that (Phoenix) plan.

    So, will Oriol Servia be booted for an American driver to meet the promoter's demands? (He's got to be used to that by now). Hey, maybe Michael Waltrip can bring some cash from Jack Daniel's and buy a seat for the race! Per Pressdog's earlier post, maybe the drivers can sew rhinestones and fringe to their nomex uniforms, and trade in their nomex racing shoes for Tony Lama boots.

    One wonders if Kevin K placed his pinky to his lip and promised to "Hold Nashville hostage for one million, billion, kajillion dollars!"

    Thank you Jeff for the funniest story I've read today.

  5. mmack // November 20, 2007 10:22 AM  

    At least The Crappies are ready for when this idea craters:

    Time for the NASCAR/ISC/France Family minions to sneak into Nashville, buy-off the promotor, bribe the politicians and intimidate potential sponsors to kill the idea.

  6. Carrie // November 20, 2007 1:09 PM  

    I'd go!

  7. Dale Nixon // November 20, 2007 7:11 PM  

    Now does this slot into the CCWS schedule between the Las Vegas and San Jose street races or is it closer to the Phoenix downtown race? And are there direct flights to South Korea from Nashville?