Helio Wins!

Posted by Iannucci | 11/27/2007 | 9 comments »
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After two looooooong hours of filler which included not one but TWO performances by Celine Dion (can I have my man-card back now please?) as well as hauling back all of the "losers" to twitter about one last time, Helio Castroneves was declared the winner of the most prestigious accolade in celebrity dancing.

I know I had some hesitation about this, but who cares - he won!

Gotta say it was a bit bleak when Samantha whatever - I don't know her name, just that she's very proud that her milk has come in for her new baby - was interviewing the two finalists (after Grandma Osmond was quickly dismissed) and asked Old Spice how it would feel to win and then asked Helio how it would feel if he lost. Way to mess with my head, lady.

Congratulations to The Captain, Uncle Sam, Penske genius Tim Cindric and '03 Indy 500 Champ Gil de Ferran for all getting airtime. In keeping with the Indy theme it's worth noting that after being declared the victor Helio was handed a quart of milk. Helio didn't pop it open, but he did climb fellow competitor Cameron Mathis since he was the tallest object in his vicinity. It's true.

Anyhow, way to go Helio! You did us all proud by keeping your shirt on and helping to keep that sweet dance partner of yours on the broadcast every week. We are eternally grateful. And way to go to you fans for maxing out your redials - you should all get a tiny piece of his mirror ball trophy. Or at least some yellow thread from the banana suit.

(Seriously though, can I have my man-card back?)


  1. Billy Coy // November 28, 2007 4:35 AM  

    Way to go Helio !!

    I'm proud and excited that our guy won with the smokin' hot dance partner !

    I'm really excited at the possibilities during the month of May when Helio's dancing friends stop by the Indianapolis Speedway for the Greatest Spectacle In Racing ™ !

    (Julianna can stop by the Pagoda Plaza and I'll buy her a Fosters and a tenderloin)

    This dancing show has been great exposure for our preferred sport is there any truth to the rumor that Tony George already has plans to start his own dancing league ?

  2. pressdog // November 28, 2007 6:06 AM  

    Sorry, Jeffy, your man card is looooooooooong gone. You mean Julianne had a partner? It's just FUN-tastic!

  3. Justin // November 28, 2007 7:05 AM  

    Thank the Lord it is finally over I won't feel compelled to watch Entertainment Tonight anymore. My life is back!!

  4. Anonymous // November 28, 2007 7:54 AM  

    mrs. mmack and I discussed the possibility of Danica! joining the season 2 cast of A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila just to get back in the spotlight that Helio! so unjustly stole from her with his DWTS win.

    In other news Dale Earnhardt Jr. has joined next season's cast of Dancing With The Stars in hopes of winning ANY championship he can get, Marco Andretti will try out for American Idol, Tony Stewart has joined the WWE using "Orange Crush" as his wrestling name, and Dan Wheldon is considering an audition for So You Think You Can Dance?

    Props to Helio on his win, and Jeff, watch some war or action movies, monster truck races on Speed, or go hunting to get yer man card back dude!

    mmack, who ONLY watched Dancing With The Stars because Helio was on, and mrs. mmack wanted to cuddle on the couch with me while watching. ;^P

  5. Jennifer Coomer // November 28, 2007 9:38 AM  

    I'm thinking Helio may be able to be my IRL boyfriend again ... Ali hadn't been in the audience for weeks ... and wasn't even at the finale?

  6. Iannucci // November 28, 2007 9:41 AM  

    Sorry, Jennifer. He's still planning to be married in January.


    See what's happened - now I'm linking OK! Magazine. This whole thing has totally killed my testosterone.

  7. Carrie // November 28, 2007 9:48 AM  

    I'd like to climb Cameron. *ducks*

    Ahem, anyways. I've always just pretty much ignored Helio because I have an aversion to most things Penske but I can't ignore him anymore. He's a great guy.

  8. Anonymous // November 29, 2007 9:33 PM  


    I think you're wrong about Wheldon-- he'd totally be the guy to go on "the Bachelor"...

  9. Anonymous // December 03, 2007 7:24 AM  


    I agree with you on sending Wheldon to The Bachelor, but only if he greets the ladies dressed as Austin Powers. I can see it now:

    "So, do I make you randy baby? I mean, I AM sexy! OHHHH Beee-have!"