Wheldon and the letter K

Posted by Iannucci | 12/08/2007 | 10 comments »
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Thank heavens for Dan Wheldon. The Lord of the Ovals is clearly depressed to be about the 8th most famous IndyCar driver right now, so he's doing what he can to get his name in the news - namely, picking a fight with "Danicker".

The Danica Patrick-Dan Wheldon feud, which provided some sparks in the IndyCar Series last year, shows no sign of abating.

Wheldon, at Homestead-Miami Speedway on Thursday for a Firestone tire test, scoffed when it was suggested he and Patrick have a “rivalry.”

“I think we only had a rivalry in one race,” Wheldon said, referring to the event at Milwaukee in June when she confronted him after an on-track incident.
He could have stopped there at which point this isn't worth printing. But...

“Obviously the pressure’s on her to win a race, and I think that’ll far outweigh rivalries with drivers,” he said. “For people’s perception of her in motor racing, it’s very important for her to win a race. She could become the Anna Kournikova of motor racing.”

(MORE from Palm Beach Post)

I never thought it would happen but one of her fellow drivers just dropped the K-Word. Of course it was Wheldon, who is clearly irked and dismayed that his glorious self is not the center of attention. If you had a list of five drivers likely to drop the K-Word he'd be all five of them.

You're still awesome and I'm still sorry for almost knocking you on your arse, but if you really want more attention then here are two words, Dan: Start. Dancing. Better yet, get on "The Bachelor". If a guy like me can sit through an entire season of Bruno Whatshisface raising his fist and shouting "TEN!" every week then it would be no more difficult watching you repeatedly hand out roses to would-be trophy wives.

Speaking of dancing, here's to Tony Kanaan demonstrating how to more subtly express the same sentiment.

“If we give Danica a win it’s going to be huge,” he said. “If we give the Japanese driver his first IndyCar win it’s going to be huge, and if Marco Andretti keeps winning, it’s going to be huge. So Tony Kanaan, it’s not big news. Unless I start dancing with Helio.”
Very amusing, but "the Japanese Driver"? Umm, have these two been introduced yet?

10 comments

  1. Carrie // December 08, 2007 10:59 PM  

    At least you're being honest with yourself and your readers, Jeff. It's not what Dan said that bothers you. It's the fact he wasn't PC about it.

    PC or no, what he said is the absolute truth.

  2. John Edward // December 09, 2007 9:08 AM  

    I loved TK's remarks: "So Tony Kanaan, it’s not big news. Unless I start dancing with Helio.”

  3. pressdog // December 09, 2007 3:43 PM  

    Just another reason why Danny is sidepod worthy.

  4. Dale Nixon // December 09, 2007 5:05 PM  

    Well, at least Anna Kournikova was hot...

  5. Jennifer of Dog.Yarn.Knit. // December 09, 2007 7:05 PM  

    "I you had a list of five drivers likely to drop the K-Word he'd be all five of them."

    I snorted and laughed hard.

  6. Anonymous // December 10, 2007 8:22 AM  

    I just read in Curt Cavin's blog that Dan spent 40,000 on a makeover and is engaged!!! He has been busy.

  7. Jeff Iannucci // December 10, 2007 9:59 AM  

    While I still think the Kournikova comparison is faulty, the larger point is that Dan is demonstrating a personality here. I’d rather him – or Danica, or whoever – whine or celebrate or throw something or just be goofy than be a cardboard cutout. Dan is never boring, and the ironic thing about his dismissal of any rivalry with Danica is that it only serves to perpetuate that notion – and I’m certain he’s well aware of that.

    And in line with Cavin’s note I’ve read Dan recently got his teeth capped, so now he not only sounds but also looks like Austin Powers. But I’m going to reserve comment until I see his new and improved visage myself.

  8. mmack // December 10, 2007 11:58 AM  

    so now he not only sounds but also looks like Austin Powers.

    Ah, I can see his next Victory Lane interview with Brienne Pedigo now:

    BP: "So Dan, how do you plan on celebrating your latest win?"

    DW: "Shall we shag now, or shag later baby?"

    BP: "WHAT?"

    DW: "Do I make you randy baby? I mean, do I turn you on? Face it Brienne, I put the grrrr in swinger baby! YEAH!"

    BP: "Dan, I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the LAST race car driver on Earth"

    (BP slams mike and headset to ground and storms off)

    DW: "So what's you point, Brienne?"

    (Jeff, will Well-done get the Austin Powers fringe cuffs and frilly shirt front sewn on to his nomex driving uniform?)

  9. Anonymous // December 13, 2007 1:51 PM  

    http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2007/dec/13/drivers-stay-up-to-speed/

    Dan confirms engagement

  10. Anonymous // December 27, 2007 7:51 PM  

    I'm so excited for Dan and his future wife, and I know who it is...