Bump Hour

Other than seeing AJ Foyt IV go out and easily qualify and later demonstrate his version of "Great Balls of Fire", Bump Day was a dud. Nothing at all happened worth noting until - as so often happens - Bump Day became Bump Hour.

(Well, nothing except Jack Arute establishing credit for Scott Dixon's "Iceman" nickname, as well as announcing his own nickname is "Scarecrow". We shall use this valuable information accordingly.)

Bump Hour though was quite the festival for all though as Roger Yasukawa, Marty Roth, Buddy Lazier and Mario Dominguez all took turns playing musical chairs for two spots. Unfortunately, Max Papis wasn't able to join the party due to a lingering gearbox affliction.

As you probably know, Lazier somehow found an extra mile-per-hour late to make his way into his 16th Indianapolis 500. Buddy joins Buddy Rice, Helio Castroneves and Dan Wheldon as four former winners in the race, which as I have been noting is kind of a big deal since they are no less in quantity than the four Indy 500 winners who started at the Daytona 500.

In this historic year we as fans didn't need that embarrassment of being outdone by the N-Word, and frankly I don't care if Lazier cheated and the folks at tech inspection looked the other way. Of course, that's one of many reasons why you don't ever want me in charge of Race Control.

Anyhow, here's a nod to Marty Roth for his "You can't get rid of me" attitude because it is inexplicably true. Seriously, after making it in another year by the skin of his teeth he's making a strong push to have his nickname changed to "Mr Bubble", so feel free to comment accordingly. We'll never know if Roth would have asserted himself in teammate John Andretti's ride should Mario Dominguez have bumped Marty in that final perilous run, but it wouldn't have been the first time such things would have happened.

And now that Lazier and Roth are both in The Show, now would be a great time to put something on those blank sidepods. Like say "Your Ad Here!"

ADDENDUM: After seeing the feedback in the comments section I’m calling a hastily assembled press conference outside of my cubicle this morning to announce the following:

It has come to my attention that the lazy use of the English language on my part has left many of you assuming I thought Buddy Lazier and/or Hemelgarn Racing had bent the rules in order to gain a starting position in this year’s running of the Indianapolis 500. That is certainly not the case, because the last thing I would want to do to a great driver like Buddy Lazier at a great moment like this is start some kind of malicious and false rumor.

Let me clearly and without sarcasm state: I DO NOT THINK THEY WERE CHEATING. I have neither proof nor reason to believe they or any other competitors were not fully within the rules of the day. In the sentence in question I was speaking hypothetically, although I can see how it could have been interpreted as being literal.

I sincerely apologize for any confusion this may have caused as well as any harm that as a result may have befallen Mr Lazier, Mr Hemelgarn, any employees of Hemelgarn Racing, or any small animals living in or around the premises.