It's it. What is it?

Posted by Iannucci | 7/14/2008 | 13 comments »
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Your humble host doesn’t know what this means, but I have discovered the latest betting lines for what it could be.

2-1: Tony George has enabled Paul Tracy to drive a “crapwagon” in exchange for “hamburgers and hot dogs”.

4-1: The IndyCar series has finally secured a new title sponsorship with AT&T, Verizon or some other telecom giant who has been effectively muted from the “Sprint Cup” series.

10-1: Conquest Racing is replacing the disgruntled Enrique Bernoldi with John Andretti.

25-1: EJ Viso has magically cured himself of the mumps by consuming a diet entirely of artichoke hearts and rutabagas.

50-1: Scott Dixon will be driving with Energizer bunny sponsorship for the rest of the season, allowing Target Chip Ganassi racing to move Dario something-or-other into another Target car.

90-1: Conquest Racing is replacing the disgruntled Enrique Bernoldi with Brooke Patrick.

250-1: An IndyCar mixed martial arts night, featuring a title bout of Castroneves v Kanaan. Sam Hornish Sr and Anthony Fedele will be featured on one undercard, along with Vitor Meira fighting a driver to be announced.

500-1: Marty Roth has formed a strategic alliance with Stewart-CNC racing.

1000-1: Conquest Racing will be replacing the disgruntled Enrique Bernoldi with Michael Schumacher.

13 comments

  1. Tabernerus // July 14, 2008 2:48 PM  

    The media alert mentioned a driver, team, and sponsor announcement (all related), so the smart money is on an announcement of the recently "confirmed" Paul Tray, in a Vision car, run by Walker, at Edmonton, with some sort of sponsorship. If that's what it is, I'll be annoyed. If it's that, AND he's running the rest of the year, then I'll be ammused, and happy.

  2. Tabernerus // July 14, 2008 2:49 PM  

    Though I'd add at 5-1, Conquest Racing replaces the disgruntled Enrique Bernoldi with Alex Tagliani.

  3. Jennifer of Dog.Yarn.Knit. // July 14, 2008 2:54 PM  

    "An IndyCar mixed martial arts night, featuring a title bout of Castroneves v Kanaan. Sam Hornish Sr and Anthony Fedele will be featured on one undercard, along with Vitor Meira fighting a driver to be announced." LOL!

    Other ideas...
    *It could be the 2009 schedule.
    *It could be an official (and anti-climatic…or anti-climadic if your Scott Goodyear) announcement about the Australia race.
    *It could be that EJ Viso really has the monkey pox.

    But my money is on P.T.

  4. Zappatista // July 14, 2008 3:15 PM  

    1. Title sponser....Miller would have already announced this...
    2. Tracy...ho hum
    3. Schedule....mildly amused
    4. Midget (or 'little' people, if you prefer) mud wrestling on display at Mid-Ohio...that's where my money is.

  5. robert // July 14, 2008 4:14 PM  

    1-1 That Richmond and Nashville sucked!!

  6. Jenna // July 14, 2008 4:26 PM  

    Cavin is confirming its PT.

    http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080714/SPORTS0109/80714057

  7. Anonymous // July 14, 2008 4:36 PM  

    With the level of hype over the Tracy deal, and the way TG has worked so hard on it, I gotta believe that ticket sales for Edmonton were lagging. A lot. They obviously wanted to get Tracy signed up for Edmonton in a real bad way.

    Hope it helps.

  8. Demond Sanders // July 14, 2008 4:46 PM  

    Yawn. It's a small plus for the series, I guess, but it is not going to make much of a splash given the late date and the fact that only Champcar fans care.

  9. Zappatista // July 14, 2008 5:03 PM  

    DS, let us not forget about friends in the "Great White North". They may not even care what car is being driven, as long as a hoser is in the race.

  10. Indychic317 // July 14, 2008 6:42 PM  

    why wont Paul Tracy just go away???

  11. Dale Nixon // July 15, 2008 5:25 AM  

    "Tracy to Drive for Guru-Pitka Racing.

    Canadian Vet Takes Over the Carpet in the Carport!"

  12. NJ IRL // July 15, 2008 5:52 AM  

    PT in for one race....now Viso will have someone to run into and no one will care!!

  13. mmack // July 15, 2008 6:22 AM  

    5000 - 1 Conquest Racing is replacing a disgruntled Rico Suave with an equally disgruntled Brett Favre. ("Hey, the Packers won't start me, so I thought . . . . . . . ")

    All of this will be reported in tomorrow's Indianapolis Star under the headline "Favre to IRL: There's Something About Danica"