mmack's nnotes: Infineon 2008

If the Food Network had broadcast the Indy Grand Prix of Sonoma County, he would have been the host. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome a man who will drink no wine before it's time, the one, the only, the "mmack".

Sunday around 4:00 PM Maria invited me to put down the model airplane I was working on and come out on the front patio to have a glass of wine before the race started, Borrowing Pressdog's shtick, since Sonoma is smack dab in wine country our wine of the race is a chilled Rosemount Estates Sauvignon Blanc. Around 4:30 I figured it was time to come in to 1) get the bottle to pour us each another glass of wine and 2) watch the coverage of the race on ESPN 2. So I turn on the TV and point our magical satellite TV to . . . a golf game. Goodness, what a shock.

At this point I realize that we DO have ESPN Classic, since we were watching a replay of The N-Word Wreckfest From Bristol on it earlier that day. Then I think forget this, and go back out on the patio with the bottle of wine and sit back down next to Maria. After another glass of wine and half an hour of discussing upcoming travel plans (including the upcoming Chicagoland race), I walk back in to see that the golf game has ended, and the race coverage will start. I prep a plate of cheese and olives (wine and cheese for a road race, hmm, not too stereotypical) and invite Maria to sit next to me on the big comfy couch to "watch Scott Dixon win another race". ESPN 2 jumps in at the green flag and we're off!

It's a Penske front row and that guy that won that dancin' show leaps to the lead, followed by that fellow that Danica doesn't like. No, it's not that English fellow with the big teeth, it's that Australian driver. The rest of the field strings along behind them. At this point Maria asks about the car in third place. I tell her it's Will Power and she says "Good, I'd like to see a CART driver win this race. Somebody different would be nice." I silently begin to wonder if Maria has followed the links on My Name is IRL.com to Pressdog.com. Later in the race as she bemoans how boring the race is compared to an oval track, I realize she still reads your site.

Early on Vitor drops in to the pits to try a different pit strategy and I realize that once again, Vitor will not win this race. A little later when Justin "Too Tall" Wilson tangles with Ryan "The American Ryan" Hunter-Reay, I catch the strained comparisons to The N-Word Wreckfest From Bristol. Note to the boys in the booth: If there is a seven car pile up that litters the track with carbon fiber and wheels and red-flags the race for an hour, THEN you can use comparisons to The N-Word Wreckfest From Bristol. BTW: Keeping everyone up to date, Mr. Hornish, late of the IRL, was included in that red-flag raising event.

I pour myself another glass of wine as Maria begins to start preparing dinner. Maria's mom stops by to join us for dinner after going shopping for a new storm door. Sadly I realize that talking to my mother in law about storm doors is a little more interesting than the race action at hand. Somewhere around this point I remember two things from the race that are worth noting.

The first is an almost simultaneous two car pass for position (or backmarkers) when Wheldon passes Bernoldi (I think), while Dominguez passes Meira. It's almost a text book example of "this is how to pass on a roadcourse, and this is how NOT to pass on a roadcourse" in one camera shot. Wheldon passes his car clean while Dominguez "jabs in the elbow" and forces Vitor into the dirt. All I can think of is we have a motorized Goofus and Gallant going on: "Goofus forces his way past people on the road, pushing them into the dirt. Gallant always checks his mirrors and makes sure he has plenty of room before he merges back in."

The second is a "chop-block-o-rama" that Briscoe puts on Dixon after Ryan comes out of the pits. Suddenly Ryan has to swing his car back and forth to warm those tires up, coincidentally right in front of Dixon.

Also in here EJ Viso is leading the race WITHOUT punting anybody into the tires to do so. I get up and open the back patio doors to check to see if I've been transported to Bizarro World. Hearing our neighbor's dog Louie with his incessant barking tells me I am still on my current plane of existence. I close the door and return to the comfy couch. Later on as Mario Dominquez is mentioned as being in the top five, I raise a toast to our "hometown" racing team (Dale Coyne's shop is in the next town over, literally).

Maria's mom returns to the kitchen to talk to Maria as the race goes on. I continue watching the race as Maria starts cooking dinner. At this point Helio is chasing TK for the lead and pulls a move that makes him look like a student at the Bob Bondurant School of Performance Driving, going WAY wide trying to pass Tony and failing. At this point I know 1) TK will cycle out of the lead, having to pit, and 2) Helio will get the lead when TK pits. I happily go into the basement to get a bottle of Zinfandel (from Napa Valley no less) to go with the pasta for dinner. When I come back I check the TV and see that Helio has the kind of lead where second place needs a telescope to see him. Helio makes his last pit stop and we sit down for dinner.

Not much else happens of note until the last lap, where in a desperate bid for airtime, Will Power torpedoes a tire barrier and Ed Carpenter literally "goes for a spin". Helio wins the race and searches desperately for a fence to climb. He vaults the fence and parties with the fans before vaulting the fence again to celebrate with his team. I think I see Security Chief Charles corral Helio and remind him he has a trophy to get and interviews to give. At this point Helio is so excited I wonder if he's about to go Super-Nova on us, all on live TV.

At this point Scott Dixon is big news because he DIDN'T win, and the Iceman is definitely tight lipped. And with that, the race coverage finishes, all in time for dessert.

Next, on to the mean streets of Detroit, where Maria hopes "one of those CART guys" will win.