Introducing the Minis

Posted by Iannucci | 9/22/2008 | 10 comments »
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No matter what form of media in which one dabbles, there is almost always a period of inactivity at the conclusion of the news season. Baseball season, football season, television season, political season – they all have an “off season”. IndyCars are no different, as evidenced by the huge drop in readership over the last few weeks.

Fortunately for your humble host there exists a time-tested method for dealing with this down time, for filling in a news cycle in the absence of actual news. The answer? One word: Awards. There’s no better way to recap a season full of stuff than to invent some categories, declare winners and losers, and of course wrap it all in a package bearing a snappy name.

The Oscars. The ESPYs. The Oreos. You get the idea.

Truth be told, when the 2007 season had ended your humble host had decided to hash out an awards plan for My Name Is IRL. However, as you might have noticed, that didn’t happen because the news cycle went askew. As soon as the IndyCar series season ended the two previous series champions went silly for stock cars, resulting in an unprecedented (and regrettably abundant) coverage of N-Word races. Of course that wasn’t the half of it, as even more attention was paid to the IndyCar driver entered in the nation’s most watch dancing contest, where he performed so well that your humble host was forced to briefly surrender his man card by watching every single episode. Oh, the humanity!

But today the 2008 season is over, and there is neither a second wave of IRL drivers heading to stock cars, nor is there anyone entered in any fall reality shows. It might be a year late, but ladies and gentleman it is with great pride that I announce the First Annual “My Name Is IRL” Awards, a.k.a. “The Minis”. Catchy, eh?

The categories are simple, but the process is not. OK, the process is extremely simple – I pick the winners and losers with no input from you whatsoever. Hey, it’s my site, and honestly you don’t want me handing over the duties here to entire Anonymous family. I mean, some of you might get your feelings hurt if you voted for someone and then they lost, because then you would cry foul, say the voting was rigged, and probably leave and never come back. I’ve prevented this nightmare scenario from occurring by simply “fixing” the awards beforehand. My entire personnel votes on all nominees and winners, and since I am the only employee around here I can assure you all awards will be given as a result of unanimous voting.

Here are the categories:
• Achievement in Televised Reporting
• Driver of the Year
• Moment of the Year
• Most Improved Driver
• Race of the Year
• Rookie of the Year

The nominees and winners for each category will be revealed in no particular order over the next few days, so be sure to check back to see if your favorites have won. If they haven’t, well, there’s always next year.


  1. Anonymous // September 22, 2008 3:01 PM  

    I'm going to go for Milka Duno for most improved driver of the year. She lead more laps than Danica!

    Best race? Chicago.

    Best Moment? Vitor's pass in the 1st turn at Indy, or Quattro catching fire in the pits (and in quals and in practice).

  2. Iannucci // September 22, 2008 3:09 PM  

    Observant choices, Mr Clerk, although I must note that catching on fire like Quattro did does not qualify a driver for a "Mini". It may however qualify him for being a "Foyt".

  3. Carrie // September 22, 2008 3:45 PM  

    • Achievement in Televised Reporting: Anyone who interviewed Dan Wheldon without mentioning the make-over
    • Driver of the Year: Dan Wheldon for weathering the "Ganassi wants him-Ganassi doesn't want him-his so-called best friend throwing him under the bus-Ganassi wants him again-he goes to Panther" thing with incredible grace and class
    • Moment of the Year: Dan getting married!
    • Most Improved Driver: Whoever stayed out of Dan's way the best
    • Race of the Year: Watkins Glen
    • Rookie of the Year: Does Mr. Hunter-Reay still count as a rook?

  4. Carrie // September 22, 2008 6:03 PM  

    Bash: That about sums it up!

  5. Anonymous // September 23, 2008 2:47 AM  


    Beautiful! I "lol'd" =)

  6. Anonymous // September 23, 2008 2:48 AM  


    Well done.


  7. Carrie // September 23, 2008 5:00 AM  

    je clark: Thank you. I just snorted Starbucks out my nose! ;-)

  8. Anonymous // September 23, 2008 6:33 AM  

    Driver of the year: John Andretti for proving that it's not the equipment, it is just Marty that sucks! Real Vote- Servia!

    Moment of the Year: Milka telling Danica to "Just go".

    Most improved driver: Buddy Rice

    Driver most likely to race with the next female in the IRL: Buddy Rice

    Race of the Year: Chicago

    Moment of the year: Helio telling Jack after being removed from the lead of the race in Detroit "I have nothing smart to say right now!"

  9. The SpeedGeek // September 23, 2008 7:25 AM  

    Achievement in Reporting: Jack Arute, for breaking his decade plus streak of once- or twice-annual in depth reports on the dowel rod that Penske uses to smack his fueler on the back during timed pit stops. [Holds dowel up to camera] "This is the actual rod!" Or maybe it happened again this year and I just missed it...

  10. Anonymous // September 25, 2008 4:51 PM  

    Jack Arute is a dowel rod.