Panica

Posted by Iannucci | 10/29/2008 | 9 comments »
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In case you missed it, or even if you just want to watch the hilarity over and over, here as found by our buddy meesh is the Mother of All Hand Puppet Shows in all of it's glorious splendor. Now with Australian TV commentary for your viewing enhancement.



"OK, if you were one of those safety workers and you were getting yelled at, how fast would you work for her?"

Ouch!

Now, I realize a lot of folks have piled on Mrs Hospenthal for this apparent display of selfishness, but I for one feel a degree of sympathy. There's a frustration shown in the tragedy of her hand puppet show, which is a sobering tale about effective communication. You know that feeling when you're talking to someone who doesn't speak English, so you instinctively speak LOUDER? Well, that's what she's doing, only with her hands. MORE HAND MOVEMENTS!

Obviously the key to avoiding this in the future - other than not stalling her car - is to help our beloved 2008 Twin Ring Motegi Champion learn the proper techniques for speaking with her hands. So here are some helpful words in American Sign Language, with images courtesy of the folks at LifePrint.com.


EXCUSE: Use a small double movement

"Excuse", as in "Excuse me, I realize you're rather busy working with Graham Rahal's car for the umteenth time this year, but could I please have a moment of your time?"




HELP: The sign for "help" is made by closing your right hand. Place your right hand on the outstretched palm of your left hand. Raise both hands.

"Help", as in "Help, please, for I have inadvertently taken my foot off the clutch and stalled my vehicle on the race course like a total idiot."




CAR/DRIVE: The sign for "car" or "drive" is made by using both hands in a closed position. Move both hands as if controlling a steering wheel.

"Car/Drive", as in "I need you to help me restart my car so I can drive, which incredible as it may seem right now is actually what I do for a living when I'm not modeling swimsuits."



THANK YOU: The sign for "thank you" is made by touching your lips with the front of the fingers of your right hand. Your hand should be an "open-b." Move your hand away from your face, palms upward. Smile.

"Thank You", as in "Thank you so much for assisting me so that I may once again race behind those mother scratchers at Ganassi and Penske."


Who knows - if we work diligently, we might even get the Delphi Safety Team to one day understand these signs.

9 comments

  1. meeshbeer // October 29, 2008 9:12 PM  

    I'm so glad I made the rounds one more time before bed.

    awesomely funny suggestion there my friend!

    *golf claps*

  2. Anonymous // October 29, 2008 10:04 PM  

    Two things:

    1. Brilliant piece, Jeff.

    2. Wish I could've watched the race with the Aussie TV commentary; that would've made it so much more entertaining.

  3. Carrie // October 30, 2008 5:33 AM  

    Genius piece, Jeff!

    LOL... watching how slow those guys were "helping" her, I think the commentators were on to something. If it were me, I'd have claimed to have left the starter in the other truck! ;-)

  4. AGRfan26 // October 30, 2008 6:14 AM  

    I hope Panica takes notes on the sign language lesson. It will enhance our viewing next season if we under stand her puppet shows. Great advise !

  5. pressdog // October 30, 2008 6:48 AM  
    This comment has been removed by the author.
  6. pressdog // October 30, 2008 6:49 AM  

    (trying again) I doubt she'll actually use the "thank you" one. I mean, she's Danica. You don't thank someone for experiencing the pleasure of helping you, do you?

  7. Anonymous // October 30, 2008 1:11 PM  

    Somehow I was expecting a different hand "signal" at some point.

  8. Anonymous // October 30, 2008 5:08 PM  

    One more year and Michael Andretti is going to discard her like yesterdays newspaper. She's a slow fade. She'll be Dale Coyne material soon.

  9. Goose // October 30, 2008 8:57 PM  

    The Yankees could use a new third base coach. ;)