LiveBlog: Kansas 2009

Welcome ladies and gentleman to the first oval race of the season, which means the roughly half of you who've been disinterested the last few weeks are geeked, and the other bunch of you who got your street race vibe on are ready pass out from excessive left turns. Such is the bimergified world we live in.

The big story today would normally be that two cars not in the Big Three will be starting from the front row, as N/H/L teammates Graham Rahal and Robert Doornbos will lead the field to the green flag. They got a little help from the IHJ though, who came down on the otherwise faster Helio and Dario for going below the yellow line during qualification. Those drivers will be sent to the back, and quite honestly it should be more fun to watch them try to work back through the field.

(Note: This also marks roughly 423rd time Helio has been punished by league officials, who thankfully were not on the jury for his recent tax-related legal festivities.)

No, the big story is the weather, which may or may not rain but will definitely be blowing like a...hang on, my kids read this site, so you'll have to imagine your own analogy. Needless to say Mother Nature is yet again on a rampage at Kansas, going so far as to unleash the fury of a nearby tornado yesterday.

Here is exclusive footage of Pat Caporali and the @VisionRacing team seeking shelter.



Seriously though, let's hope everyone can manage to stay safe in these inclement conditions. The Indy Lights race this morning resulted in much carnage between turns three and four, giving the Delphi Safety Team more track time than many of the drivers. Not exactly what race fans came to see.

Battling wind and racing against the (possibly) forthcoming rain will make for some interesting twists on the racing today, but it also set the danger level up to '11'. It's time to find out who's ready to race and who's thinking about just bringing it home in one piece.

And now, it's time to start.

0: Who's in charge? LindyCar, that's who. She's manning the podium and has banished Arute to conduct driver interviews. She'll be running the entire VERSUS network by the time The Month of May.

0: More rule changes for The Hair Club for Men, a.k.a. Franchitti and Kanaan. If Tony wins today he shaves Dario's hair BUT he still has to keep growing his 'fro. If one of these guys can't get a "Supercuts" sponsorship this month it's a total opportunity wasted.

0: @VisionRacing and @luczodragon both say rain is inevitable. Vision says "Giant green blob headed our way". Could be rain, or possibly Hedorah.

0: Looks like Helio is still signing autographs. Wait...wait...and THERE'S the hug!

0: Rick Mears, LIVE! I'm guessing he probably wouldn't agree to it, but you really couldn't do any better than Rick Mears as a race commentator.

0: "Just because they're the strong doesn't mean they can't get their asses kicked." OK then.

0: Here's Jon to tell us the weight jacker is opperated by the buttons marked "WJ". After that...I think he was talking about a video game.

0: These picks by the broadcast crew would be far more interesting if they didn't all pick the same people. What is this, the Robert Doornbos Fan Club? Sheesh.

0: "...start your engines!" We are HOT HOT HOT! Now get out there and let the green flag drop before the rain, please.

0: Jack Arute, noted race strategist, busts out with a bunch of advice. I'm no expert, but I'd tell my driver to hug the low line because all of those cars losing it earlier today seemed to be blown up to the outside wall. But neither Jack nor I drive 220 mph all that often.

1: And we're green with another spectacularly malformed set of rows. Clean lap for all though, which is far more important.

7: Rahal still leads but Dixon is in 2nd. Viso, who started at the back, if already around Helio and Dario and up to 16th. That penalty must have re-ignited the rage.

9: Dixon to the inside of Graham, taking the lead. Doornbos, Danica, Mario Marios, err, Moraes round out the Top 5.

14: Yowza! Everyone slowed down and Helio ran hard into the back of Vitor Meira. Flying debris took off part of Viso's wing as well. All cars are still running but definitely damaged.

16: Free ethanol in the pits! Everyone is in and the new leader is...Robert Doornbos! Dixon, Rahal, Moraes, Briscoe follow.

18: Hold the phone, Bobby D. Looks like he struck his teammates tire resting in Graham's pit box on exit, and that's gonna be a penalty. The IHJ demands Robert go to the back.

22: Back to green and Rahal gets a great jump to pull up next to Dixon. Can't complete the pass though so he peels back to follow.

25: You know we're on an oval because Ed Carpenter is in 6th. Can't miss that blinding Menards paint scheme.

29: Here's an in-car feed of Viso getting lapped by someone. And someone else. And someone else. That's just cold, VERSUS.

33: Helio got his nose fixed and is up to 12th. Dario right behind him in 13th. Justin Wilson in the Dale Coyne car is in 14th.

42: Stick in fork in Viso, his day is done. Parked and exiting the vehicle. At least he wasn't impaled by that debris from Helio's car.

43: Dan Wheldon is around Moraes for 5th. With his history on this track you might as well cue the them from "Jaws" now.

45: Helio up to 9th. Who needs patience when you have a Team Penske car. (will Power, that's who.)

50: Poor Vitor. 0 for 96. It almost looks like he's crying in his interviewe with Arute.

55: Dixon, Rahal, Kanaan, Briscoe, Moraes. Danica 8th, Sarah 17th, Milka 19th.

59: Kanaan around Rahal, who suddenly seems to be a touch slower and dropping back. Focus on channeling the blogger karma, Graham.

61: Arute says "Scott Dixon is making excellent fuel mileage". Lovely.

67: We are a third of the way through and teams are starting to cycle though another round of pit stops. The leaders, conserving fuel like champs, are still holding station.

69: Tony Kanaan becomes the first leader into the pits.

70: Then Rahal. That puts Helio up to 2nd, for now.

71: Then Dixon. Eventually he had to come in.

72: Then Helio, who actually led for a lap. This Castroneves guy, he's pretty good.

74: After all that it's now Dixon, Kanaan, Briscoe, Rahal, Carpenter. Franchitti and Wheldon right behind them. 26 or so laps to an official race.

83: Franchitti lapping Barrett, and those cars together kinda look like teammates this weekend. Well, visually they do.

86: Commercial break so I just peaked over at the N-Word race. Let's just say sheet metal workers will be in high demand this week.

92: Dixon still leads, looking to lap Milka Duno. She lets him by without incident.

93: Meanwhile Kanaan and Briscoe are side by side battling for 2nd. And by battle I mean Briscoe is past him without blinking.

94: Unnamed spotter for one of those guys calling out "Milka Duno! Milka Duno!"

97: Yellow flag for Matos, who has done something to mess up the suspension on the front-right of his car. Looks like we're going to have an official race, though. Woo-hoo!

100: How about we all pit, eh? In and out for 7 seconds of love and the new leader is...Ryan Briscoe! Kanaan, Dixon, Helio, Franchitti. In other words, "the usual suspects".

105: Back to green and Scott Dixon TOTALLY jumped Tony Kanaan for 2nd. Paging the IHJ! Hello? Hello!?!

110: Here comes Rahal and Danica, both around Franchitti and closing in on Helio.

111: Jack Arute smashes an egg in his hands. He had that egg left over from Motegi and he's used to playing with it every April. They moved that race to the fall, and just look at how disoriented he is now. Poor guy.

120: Helio getting great runs on Kanaan on in the straightaway but he can't complete the pass. Forgive me for saying this, but I could probably watch these two guys battle each other all day. Just them. They're that entertaining.

123: Meanwhile, Ed Carpenter is trying in vain to defend against Dario for 7th. Dario says "later".

125: Robert Doornbos is in 14th, behind Wilson and ahead of the Fisher Queen. Just noting this for his fan club in the VERSUS gang.

135: And...nothing is changing. Just a lot of lapping of Stanton and Milka. I think everyone else is conserving fuel like professionals.

142: "Battle for 8th position, Dan Wheldon on top of Ed Carpenter". Ahem.

147: Arute tells us the leaders are "all making fuel". I'm going to have a party later and we're going to use "making fuel" as a drinking term. We'll be passed out before it rains, which Arute says is now "10 minutes away".

149: At least Marco isn't above passing someone. He's around Moraes, Carpenter and Wheldon and up to 8th.

152: Yellow for Franchitti, who's into the wall. BAM! He was behind Rahal who pulled below the line to pit but Dario didn't slow down. Hit the brakes and went up into the SAFER barrier. He's out and OK, but his day is done. No stunning Ashley quotes this weekend.

154: Everybody pits and on exit it's...Dixon, Helio, Kanaan, Briscoe, Marco.

155: Roger Penske is enraged. Briscoe was pitting as Franchitti was getting up close and personal with the SAFER barrier, but then the IHJ told Team Penske they couldn't touch the car as THAT VERY INSTANT the pits were closed.

157: How about a day with Wheldon. "Do you think I'm your mother!?!" No Dan, my mom doesn't have as many pairs of shoes as you do.

160: Back to green as the late Tony Hulman tell them "Gentlemen, start your engines!" Very nice. Danica is in 5th, ahead of Marco now. All 4 AGR cars in the Top 8.

165: Wait, Mike Conway is out? Wha' happended?

168: Looks like a passing free zone as everyone spreads out, presumably to conserve more ethanol. Oh, and I guess that rain wasn't 10 minutes away after all.

175: Robbie Buhl says everyone is laying down their fastest laps, which means the rain must be on the way.

178: In-car camera shows Dan Wheldon and his perfectly white gloves. Checking for dust around the track.

185: Rahal with some nice driving avoiding Stuntman Stanton and around Mutoh for 7th. Still Dixon, Helio, Kanaan up front though.

189: Dixon is checking out, up by nearly a second. I feel safe in saying he won't be behind Barrett in the points much longer.

195: They're not sayin' "lock step" but that's what's happening.

196: Jenkins speaks for all of us when he says "it's just absolutely amazing that it didn't rain".

199: White flag. Oh, the drama.

200: The Iceman winneth. *rimshot* Helio, Kanaan, Briscoe, Danica. Pretty much that way since the last restart.

Quickly LindyCar gets a word with Emma, who says Scott's been "grumpy for three weeks". Yes, married to a beautiful woman, driving for a top team, Indy 500 winner and two-time series champ. Who WOULDN'T be a total grouch in those circumstances?

Scott looks happier now. Helio looks happy as well. Kanaan also looks happy. Happy podium this weekend, friends. Behind Kanaan however, Michael Andretti does not look very enthused. In fact, he's wearing not just a sour puss but his baseball cap is backwards like he's in some kind of Snoop Dogg video. Double-u. Tee. Eff. Question mark.

Side note: thanks to the fans who let me know that Mike Conway touched the wall trying to avoid Milka Duno. Apparently this was covered by the amazingly thorough team at IMS Radio, but I didn't catch it on the telecast. I'm sure the mere mention of Milka will cause the comments section to burn to the ground.

Well that's it for me, folks. Time to check out the other LiveBlogs while waiting for the latest from pressdog who is at the scene. He's probably getting Dixon to explain the winning fuel mappings this very instant. I can't wait for his epic report...but I'll have to.

Congrats to Dixon and his superior fuel mappings, and three cheers for Mother Nature who gave us a window today. In fact, someone go tell Arute the rain is STILL just "10 minutes away". And kudos to all (or possibly "most") of the drivers who did an exceptional job of keeping the carnage to a minimum in the dicey racing conditions. Thank you all very much, and good night.