The full stable of TCGR drivers will be out greeting fans and signing autographs at tonight’s Indianapolis Ice hockey matchup against the, uh, Cedar Rapids, uh, something-or-others. Wait, the other team is the Roughriders. Isn’t Roughriders the name all the Canadian Football teams take?
OK, enough about Canada. Scott Dixon, Dan Wheldon and Chris Festa will be appearing at the game tonight for your enjoyment, at the conclusion of which they will no doubt immediately board a plane for Japan and commence with their jet lag. If you happen to go and aren’t sure what to say to these most excellent IndyCar drivers, here’s a list of casual comments you could make while waiting for them to sign a hero card or t-shirt or body part or whatever.
“Met any good distractions lately?”
“So how many pairs of shoes are you packing for the trip?”
“Who is it that actually calls you ‘Thunda’?”
“What’s it like being married to Posh Spice?”
“Winning without Jamie Little isn’t the same, right?”
“Did you enjoy the women in cages at the Honda Welcome party?”
“Have you ever offered your teammate any pointers on road courses?”
“If you win, does Chip let you call him Floyd?”
“Do you realize you’re winless since getting engaged?”
“When you get to Iowa are you having a Steinlager with Pressdog?”
Quite frankly, if you even acknowledge you know who an Indy Pro driver is he’ll be ecstatic. You can read all about him here.
If you really want to do these guys a favor then offer them some Dramamine or Ambien for the trip. Better yet, just wish them good luck and safe driving.
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