It doesn't matter that he's gone to the N-Word, because if the reigning Indy 500 Champion is going to be tracking down one of the dumbest criminals in Nashville then by golly the tale of My Poor Little Husband's escapade is going to be printed here, as told by Terry Blount of ESPN.com.
Sprint Cup rookie Dario Franchitti got caught with his pants down, sort of, when he first moved to his home in Nashville, Tenn., with his wife, actress Ashley Judd.
Is this really what you want, Dario? Not "Indy 500 Champion", not "IndyCar Series Champion", but "Sprint Cup rookie"? Ack!
"I was just sitting in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal in my boxer shorts," Franchitti said.
Most of us eat out of a bowl on the table, but it’s important to note these little differences that make him a champion.
"I looked up and some guy is standing in front of me. He just walked in the house.”
Yet despite being a champion, Dario apparently forgot to install locks in his swank Nashville pad.
"I really don't think I was the one he was looking for..."
The intruder was trying to track down Ashley to get his money back after seeing Bug.
...but the guy quickly turned around and ran out of the house.”
Does Dario call 911 like a sensible ninny? No, not when his inner James Bond is kicking in. Duh-duh-duuuuuuh!
He got in his car and sped off. So what did I do? I got in my car and chased him."
See here’s the best part. This trespasser thought for a nanosecond he could somehow flee the entire situation despite two very obvious facts. First, while it’s not certain which of his Italian-made sports cars Dario had at the ready, it’s fairly safe to say he was going to have a better vehicle than the would-be assailant. Second, he’s Dario Freaking Franchitti! You are not going to out run him in a vehicle no matter how many laps you throw down at the local go-kart track.
But Franchitti forgot one important thing in his quest to catch the intruder.
Lemme guess - that he still had a bowl of cereal in his boxer shorts?
"The police caught up [to] the guy before I did," Franchitti said. "And apparently some people in the Nashville media also heard on the [police scanner] about it, so they were there, too. They came up to talk to me about the time I realized I was still in my boxer shorts. I had to stay in the car the whole time."
Oh, yes, that little tidbit. Well, he's European so he can get away with that kind of attire, right? Besides, everyone knows all the best superheroes run around in their underwear.
(Thanks to reader Austin for the heads up)
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