mmack's nnotes: Edmonton 2008

Posted by Iannucci | 7/27/2008 | 2 comments »
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He's upstairs, he's downstairs, and somewhere in between he's jotting down his thoughts during the race. Multi-tasking. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome a man who would never EVER break The Prime Directive by punting Danica!, the one, the only, the "mmack".

Here are my notes from Upstairs, Downstairs on the Edmonton Rexall Grand Prix on ESPN. The notes aren't from the big comfy couch or chair because I had too many chores to do. I was running upstairs and downstairs in our house as I mopped, vacuumed, and washed clothes. We'll be out at a family party Sunday, so that's why I'm not sitting on my duff drinking beer and watching racing. Maria is not with me as she is out at the mall shopping with her best friend. I decided to skip shoe shopping to give you my recap:

Nice to see the start wasn't delayed for the World Series of Poker.

Gene Simmons?!?

Graham Rahal is off-roading and immediately I'm thinking Paul Tracy has claimed his first victim. I apologize Paul, it's just a force of habit after all those years watching CART.

Full course yellow for Vitor. Immediate response: "Why?"

IIRC, at a point before Mutoh's yellow they mention that they're monitoring the radio between 3.0 and Kanaan. They want Marco to let Tony past. Marco says something to the effect of "They tell me to move over one more time and there'll be trouble." Three thoughts spring into my mind:

1) When did this become F1, and when did AGR take notes from Scuderia Ferrari?
2) 3.0's act is getting insufferable.
3) Those assurances Kanaan wants in his contract? A Vulcan (Gatling Gun style) cannon installed in the nose of #11, to be used when Marco is ahead of him. Either that or a remote kill switch tuned to Danica and Marco's on board computers.

Godzilla got stomped. Of note: Jenkins says in his understated way "But the tire barriers failed to stop the damage to that car as it is heavily damaged and Mutoh's day is done." Hate to be snide, but gee, ya think Bob? Two of the four tires are off the ground at weird angles. This is way past the point of duct tape helping anything.

Hinton the Wonder Troll is wrong, as usual: NASCAR at Indianapolis is not a sign of Armageddon, AJ Foyt IV LEADING a road course race is a sign of Armageddon. Go Quattro! Nice little loop by Kanaan to give him the lead. Could AJ have pressured Kanaan into a mistake? If so, will wonders never cease.

So much for that: Moraes has to ruin the show by passing AJ and slowing him down enough so Kanaan gets past.

Well it's nice to see EJ Viso is completely recovered from the mumps. Now he's healthy enough to resume the kamikaze moves he's become famous for.

Iceman takes the lead, and I hear The American Mutt's howls of protest over the vacuum cleaner noise.

Agree with Son of 'Stache on Viso and Moraes, the latter after his move on IV. While it's nice to see The Iron Hand of Justice (TM, All Rights Reserved) do a stop and park on EJ, I can't help but wonder if a Big Three driver would get the same if he (or she) did the same thing.

Bernoldi spins. Huh, that never happens.

Like Father, Like Son: Marco pulls the "Stab the rear tire of the car ahead of me with my front wing endplate" trick out of the Andretti family playbook. Sadly for him, he breaks The Danica Directive and punts The Princess into the tires. FINALLY, some excitement! Will Mrs. Romper Stomper stomp her way into Marco's pit? And who will Michael side with, his son, or the most visible driver on the series? Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the AGR team meeting tonight.

Timed Race. Thank you ESPN, because as a Bears fan, I REALLY want to see what Brett Favre will be doing this season, so let's hurry up and get SportsCenter on.

Iceman takes it. Maria calls me about five minutes after the race is over from a restaurant where she and her friend are having a drink and appetizer. She tells me she saw some of the race on TV in the bar. Gist of the conversation:

"So is the race over?"

"Yes it is."

"Did Dixon win?"

"Yes he did."

"Damn it."

She's good at boiling things down to their essence. Now I have to take a load of laundry from the dryer. So long until Kentucky in two weeks.

Wait, that damn Pizza Hut commercial is on again!


  1. Anonymous // July 27, 2008 9:35 AM  

    Yeah, I've seen alot of use of wings as bumpers this year by drivers following the tire tracks of Mike Andretti, Alex Zanardi and Paul Tracy.

    But ramming Marco's celebrated teammate? The AGR drivers don't drive like teammates. It was one thing when 'old pros' TK & Dario were racing for AGR.

    After Andretti 2.0 cut so many competitors' tires by driving like a bull in a china shop, the cars' front wing endplates cannot protrude past the chord of the wings.

    That's fortunate for alot of people, including crewmen that errant drivers like Danica try to mow down in pitlane.

  2. The American Mutt // July 27, 2008 1:31 PM  

    I didn't howl because he wasn't supposed to have the fuel to make it to the end. Saw to it I was wrong on that one though didn't they. Thanks for the shout out.

    Am I the only one that likes having drivers to both root for and against. I mean the superbowl wouldn't have been nearly the game it was for me if I didn't hate the pats so much.

    Ironically I used to root specifically for Dixon. He ruined that last year by whining (had to edit out the b word Jeff) for the winners circle at Sonoma, and no matter what anyone says, I'm always going to believe he took Dario out intentionally at Detroit. Reading between the lines on one of Cavins podcasts, it sounded like RHR thought it weird too...just sayin'.