Staying Up to Speed

Posted by Iannucci | 8/14/2008 | 17 comments »
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Last year Arni the Indy Insider utilized the power of YouTube to shamelessly poke fun at both the Indy Racing League and himself, exhibiting raw an unadulterated awesomeness in his race previews. However, for 2008 the powers that be decided to go with a more subtle and aesthetically polished approach, replacing the ambiguously-aged Arni and his handheld camera with snappy graphics, groovy background music, and the lovely and talented Lauren Bohlander.

Make that lovely, talented, and inquisitive, as Bohlander has done a wonderful job of asking hard-hitting questions, like “boxers or briefs?”

Because you can't get enough Bohlander, here is a list of the interviews she has conducted for "Up To Speed" (U2S) thusfar, along with some of the revelations she has uncovered by using subtle, time-tested interrogation techniques such as running her hand through her hair, laughing, and focusing her big hazel eyes at her guests.

Marco Andretti - Marco, like Danica, drives “commando” style.

Townsend Bell - Townsend and his family live in an empty house.

Ryan Briscoe - Ryan can detail your car and has a thing for vinegar. “Veen-eee-guh”

Helio Castroneves - Helio is a Brazilian “redneck” (Brazilbilly!) and he'll be your chauffer.

Scott Dixon - Scott must enjoy hanging out for adult beverages because he mentions bars twice in four minutes.

Sarah Fisher - Sarah has seven employees for her race team, which is less people than Danica! has for hair and makeup. Or so I’ve heard.

Tony Kanaan - Tony is currently negotiating sponsorship for his newborn son.

Vitor Meira - Vitor has a pet parrot that speaks foul (fowl?) language.

Graham Rahal - Graham has an iPhone, a Corvette, and lots of Facebook friends.

Buddy Rice - Buddy likes to do burnouts in the street.

Oriol Servia - Oriol has sung on stage with Lionel Richie.

EJ Viso - EJ can beat any driver using just one wheel and two pedals.

Justin Wilson - Justin can’t bench press more than 120 lbs because it would make him too huge.

All fun chats, although the search party has not returned from the quest to uncover the missing AJ Foyt IV interview that mysteriously appeared then disappeared earlier this season. In the meantime, Lauren has also interviewed a number of Indy Lights drivers,

Richard Antinucci - Richard likes to surf badly and walk the Target dog.

Ana Beatriz - Ana, like every other woman, really enjoys shopping.

James Davison - James feels confident on ovals (so perhaps he’ll sign The Petition).

Arie Luyendyk Jr - Arie Jr has a real estate license so he sells houses.

All Bohlander. All the time.


  1. Anonymous // August 14, 2008 7:58 AM  

    I've wondered where the missing Quattro interview went, too.

    I smell a conspiracy!

  2. Carrie // August 14, 2008 8:03 AM  

    I want Arni back.

  3. Anonymous // August 14, 2008 9:28 AM  

    RAWR! Eff your petition!

  4. Iannucci // August 14, 2008 9:31 AM  

    It's not my petition - I'm just noting it. I assure you there will never, ever be any kind of petition specifically promoted at this site.

    Never. Ever. Ever ever. And ever. Forever.

  5. Billy // August 14, 2008 10:44 AM  

    The AJ Foyt IV interview was funny. Too bad it's missing.

  6. Anonymous // August 14, 2008 10:55 AM  

    I say we petition Jeff to endorse petitions. Jeff, can you host our petition?

  7. Jennifer Coomer // August 14, 2008 11:05 AM  

    The Foyt 4 was the best one yet (and by best I mean frickin' hilarous). I am sad that it went away.

    Helio's made me laugh a lot, too.

    As far as Dancia racing panty-free...I NEVER needed to know that.

  8. Anonymous // August 14, 2008 1:37 PM  

    Panty free...

    You wear fire proof underwear (long johns, shirt, socks) underneath the fire suit. It's made out of Nomex.

    Two kinds of undies: 1) Cotton. Gets wet, stays wet. Wicks terribly. Not comfortable. Burns at a lower temp than Nomex. 2) Synthetic. Melts at a very low temperature. Will end up melted then burned into your skin in a fire.

    You would never wear your "panty," because that would defeat the purpose of wearing fireproof underwear. Besides, since you are wearing Nomex tights there isn't any point anyway.

  9. pressdog // August 14, 2008 1:43 PM  

    Quattro may have been TOO funny, and we all know (or so I've been told many times) humor is UNPROFESSIONAL. I miss the insider. Leave it to the man to assimilate a good idea.

  10. Anonymous // August 14, 2008 8:04 PM  

    You queers. Lauren is smokin hot.

    Was there something between AJIV and Lauren, seemed to be during the interview....maybe seen as unprofessional or something....

  11. Jennifer Coomer // August 14, 2008 9:15 PM  

    Hey "Anonymous" (if that is your real name), why don't you come up here and say that to my face?

    There is a lot of humor involved with this blog/comment forum. Come on.

  12. Anonymous // August 15, 2008 5:02 AM  

    Can someone that saw the AJ IV interview fill the rest of us in?

    I don't know if something is going on with AJ IV and Lauren, but I thought he was dating the daughter of the owner of the Colts.

  13. Anonymous // August 15, 2008 11:04 AM  

    AJ Foyt 4 up to speed is now available. for some reason it was deleted????

  14. Anonymous // August 15, 2008 5:02 PM  

    I'm guessing the power of the bloggers have spoken. The missing Quattro interview has returned to Up 2 Speed. All hail, the mightly power of Jeff Iannucci!

  15. Anonymous // August 15, 2008 9:52 PM  

    I love Lauren, too. Did anybody else notice that she wasn't wearing her ring when she was talking to Helio?

    If I'm ever directing a Western, I'm putting Quattro in it.

  16. Anonymous // August 19, 2008 6:19 AM  

    Well, Arie Jr. hasn't actually SOLD a house yet, but he's been on the podium...

  17. Anonymous // October 08, 2008 6:32 PM  

    I saw her interview with Donoso who JUST won after a shaky of her questions was, "Why do you drive yellow cars?" Wow. Maybe you should research the line of work you are in. It's insulting that fans know more than the host. Being pretty may get you the job, but it won't help you keep it.