HAIR, starring Dario and Tony

Posted by Iannucci | 4/12/2009 | 1 comments »
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Give a couple of IndyCar drivers some time to write and what they talk about? Racing? Women? Gambling? Somali Pirates? Nope, none of the above.

No, they're fixating on each other's hairstyles. Here's Tony Kanaan on his former teammate.

I said to myself, “Come on, this guy is Dario Franchitti. The Indianapolis 500 champion, Series champion, and he’s Ashley Judd’s husband."

So that made me wonder, “What's wrong with him?” And I’ve figured it out: It's his bloody hair!

So my plan is, and I'm going to reveal this here to my readers…I’m going to pull a ‘Jackass’ move on him. I’m going grab my clippers and approach him on the drivers meeting and just go, BAM, right in the middle of his forehead. A big patch of hair, GONE! And then he's going to have to cut it.
Not content with that, Kanaan decides instead to make a wager of it. (Finally, some talk of gambling!) Kanaan offers "The first time he wins a race he has to shave his head, and the first time I win a race I won't cut my hair until I win again."

An offer which Dario accepts.

I see my little Brazilian friend is talking trash about me in his column. You sure want to make that bet, TK? You’ve heard it here first, I accept.

Absolutely. It’s on!

The thing is, you guys have all seen me with a shaved head but you've never seen Tony with his full afro. When Tony lets his hair grow he's got the world's biggest 'fro. A giant disco afro, at that. It’s unreal. Looks like an oversized costume wig.
So there you have it. Dario has either agreed to either shave his own head when he wins or he's planning on not winning just to see Tony start growing the "disco afro". Use that information accordingly in your TSO Fantasy lineup.

Say, weren't these two supposed to shave Danica's head a while back?

Speaking of, click on the names to see some old school photos of Tony and Danica at Long Beach several years ago. Alternate hair included. Also, check out the Furious Wedge interpretation of "Disco Afro".


  1. McCarthief // April 13, 2009 2:48 AM  

    I don't want Dario to be a skin head again...he looks too much like a NED for me but I really want him to win the championship...