AP: Roger Penske to buy Saturn

Posted by Iannucci | 6/05/2009 | 8 comments »
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The car company, that is - not the planet, although no one doubts The Captain couldn't purchase a celestial body if that's what he really wanted. In fact, I have it on good authority Roger has already made a down-payment on Neptune, prompting Chip Ganassi to reflexively lay an embarrassing claim to Uranus...but I digress.

From the Associated Press:

A person briefed on the deal says General Motors Corp. will sell its Saturn brand to former race car driver and dealership chain owner Roger Penske.

GM has scheduled a 9 a.m. EDT conference call with Saturn General Manager Jill Lajdziak. The person briefed on the deal said Penske will be on the call.

Penske has said his company, Penske Automotive Group Inc. of Bloomfield Hills, Mich., is interested in the Saturn brand.
That's pretty much the entirety of the story at this point, although the Detroit Free Press has a little more. According to one analyst, this "doesn't make much sense" for Penske.

Aaron Bragman, an industry analyst from IHS Global Insight, said it doesn’t make much sense for Saturn to continue “as anything.” However, he added, "If anyone is going to make a go of it, Penske is one of the better people to try.”
Au contraire, Mr Indystry Analyst. This purchase totally makes sense for Roger.

Obviously Penske wants his own car company so he can enter his own engines in the next generation of IndyCars, and by "his own" I mean Ilmor-manufactured supermotors featuring alien technology that are badged as "Saturn". He's already got Test Driver Will Power available, thumbs a-twiddling, ready to begin testing.

Soon enough Ryan Briscoe will be married, which means there's a 50% chance that by the time the new engine specs are finalized he'll be completely brow-beaten, uninspired, and generally susceptible to overeating, depression and dementia. Nothing against his lovely bride-to-be, just a using modern marital statistics. Advantage, Will Power.

Meanwhile Penske can prop up the Saturn brand by returning the models to the brand's original dent-free body panels, allowing for ads featuring three-time Indy 500 winner Helio Castroneves jumping up and down on various models and espousing the new slogan: "My Saturn is FUN-tastic!!!" And yes, you'll definitely buy one.

8 comments

  1. Demond Sanders // June 05, 2009 8:46 AM  

    No great love for Penske, but if he manages to get a second engine to the series (of any kind) I'll promise to buy a Saturn...

  2. Justin // June 05, 2009 9:01 AM  

    Yes Will Power Offical Saturn Test Driver has a great ring to it.....

  3. Dale Nixon // June 05, 2009 9:01 AM  

    Jacques Lazier may want to arrange preemptively for a ride, or even a rental, which will promise to be faster than his cobbled-together 3G for this weekend.

  4. Jennifer of Dog.Yarn.Knit. // June 05, 2009 9:03 AM  

    I think this is fantastic. Maybe I'm putting too much faith in The Captain, but I think he just might do something amazing here.


    Cracked me up...
    "...ads featuring three-time Indy 500 winner Helio Castroneves jumping up and down on various models and espousing the new slogan: "My Saturn is FUN-tastic!!!"."

  5. Pop-off valve // June 05, 2009 9:11 AM  

    I wish he would have bought Pontiac, instead.

  6. flyingpiano // June 05, 2009 9:35 AM  

    hmmmm looks like saturn just became a performance car

  7. mmack // June 05, 2009 11:12 AM  

    Meanwhile Penske can prop up the Saturn brand by returning the models to the brand's original dent-free body panels, allowing for ads featuring three-time Indy 500 winner Helio Castroneves jumping up and down on various models and espousing the new slogan: "My Saturn is FUN-tastic!!!" And yes, you'll definitely buy one.

    Yes, but can the new Saturns climb up and cling to a main straight crash fence? Curious fans want to know.

    Obviously Penske wants his own car company so he can enter his own engines in the next generation of IndyCars, and by "his own" I mean Ilmor-manufactured supermotors featuring alien technology that are badged as "Saturn".

    I see Chip Ganassi leaning on pit wall as another "Saturn" engined Penske Dallara wins a race muttering Jack Nicholson's line from Batman: "Where does he get those wonderful toys?"

  8. AZZO45 // June 06, 2009 11:13 AM  

    hmmmm looks like saturn just became a performance car -flyingpiano

    Saturn has had a few "performance" cars via their "Redline" badged cars. The Saturn Sky (the cousin to the Pontiac Soltice & Opel GT will not be one of the models coming to Penske's SATURN...

    ... so it might not have much "performance" DNA. Roger is talking to Renault about importing Samsung cars along with euro spec Nissans & Renaults.

    BTW, Renault owns 80% of Samsung's car division