The games people play

Longtime readers will recall that in prior years this site has featured a drinking game called "My Name Is Hurl", although given the amount of drinking suggestions any memory loss incurred would be understandable. It was, to put it lightly, far too much and has since been replaced by a single suggested drinking term for any given event. This, in deference to Jon Beekhuis and Robbie Buhl of VERSUS, has nearly always been "working the tools".

But Declan at Midweek Motorsport, fresh of his 24-hour coverage of "Luh Mawn", has come up with a far more ingenious and poingant idea of entertainment for those IndyCar fans who may feel a tad uninspired by the ESPN/ABC broadcasts.

If you can’t be there to witness the parade or watch it on TV here is how you can experience the “fun” at home. You will need a quarter painted red, one painted white, a large bowl, a stool and two posters of Danica. Go to the corner of a room and hang the two posters. Sit down on a stool facing the corner with the bowl in your hands. While moving the bowl in a circular motion, roll the quarters on their edge in the bowl keeping them going by gently sustaining the motion. Continue this while staring into the bowl until you start to feel nauseous. At this point, it is time for a commercial break. While still swirling your racers in the bowl, carefully look up at the posters and stare at each one for thirty seconds. Everyone once in a while mutter, “You deserve respect. You deserve respect.” Repeat until you lose the will to live. Stop swirling the bowl. The last quarter rolling wins. If it is red, Target Chip Ganassi wins. If it is white, Penske does. If they turn into five dimes, Danica wins. Congratulations! You have just enjoyed another ABC broadcast. Go take a walk and get some fresh air.

Well played, sir. *golf clap*